Wednesday, May 4, 2016

What's Mother's Day To Me: 5 Years Later

It's the month of May now, and Mothers' Day is around the corner.  Fancily-themed cakes are seen in the display refrigerators of bakeries in town.

When's the last time I celebrated Mother's Day in my own simple way?

May 1, 2011: The oh-so-happy-go-lucky moments
Like most folks who would take advantage of a long weekend i.e. weekend combined with public holiday, I returned home to Ipoh.  And since Mother's Day was going to be a week later, let's take the opportunity to celebrate it in advance.  In a low profile way, with a lunch treat for ourselves followed by walking around Kinta City.

Of course, when I compare the past with today, I wish I could have given more.  At first instance, I wish I could bring my mom to wherever she liked for lunch or dinner, shower her with holiday to her favourite destinations, and pamper her with a spa treat.

From the garden of my mom

But ultimately, I'm sure what most moms would prefer their children to spend as much time as possible with them, rather than merely provide physical materials like what was just mentioned.

May 8, 2011: Logic vs intuition
A week down the line, came another weekend.  I'm by nature not a homesick person, but for some mysterious reasons, I felt a strange urge of having yet another trip back home.  "Yes, tomorrow is Mother's Day, but have I not already celebrated in advance?", and thus, I decided to stay back instead of traveling home again after been there only a week ago.

Also, as I'd planned to travel to Ipoh the following week in view of another long weekend (it's going to be another public holiday for Wesak day), I thought I'd better go by logic as opposed to a spontaneous desire.

However, a heart-sinking moment came on Sunday night when my then already-legal-spouse (but yet to be customarily married and not living together yet) called in the evening to say hi, and told me that his family was out for Mother's Day dinner... My heart felt as if it was pinched. oh how I regretted not going home to be with my mother.

"Nah, why fret when I just saw my mom last week, and will be seeing her again in another 5 days?", was my self-consolation.

May 9, 2011: That call-in-distress
I just got seated at work after a break for lunch, when I received a call from my home in Ipoh on my phone.  I was initially a bit shocked when I saw the number on the display because I know my parents very well.  They would never call me during the work hours, unless there's something bad.

As this note is not aimed to elaborate the details of what transpired on that fateful day, let me just say that a person's life is very precious but fragile at the same time.

May 15, 2011: A farewell past midnight
It wasn't a farewell in the literal sense, because I didn't get to witness that final moment.  But May 15, is surely a date that can never be erased from the lives of at least three persons in the world.

Physically, there wasn't any tears from our eyes (because we're probably genetically-stone-cold in appearance), but spiritually, our hearts were probably flooded by an ocean of tears.   I had no qualms about the fact that when there's life, there's also death... but back then, I was shocked because my mom looked perfectly fine until the day when that dreadful call came into picture.

This is neither a note to rant about the past nor to show how that I'm a good daughter... oh no, I am far from what it takes to be a great child.  Instead, this is a note of walking down memory lane into some of the final, but memorable moments with my mother.

Moving forward 
Although I do not have the rezeki to spend more time with my mother, I am nevertheless thankful to God for lending me a mother who had done her best to raise me up... for a duration of one week short of 28 years.

For those who are fortunate to be blessed with the opportunity of being together with their mothers for a huge part of their lives, you've got to count your blessings and please do not take your moms for granted.

OK lah, maybe I am a little kepoh i.e. "busybody"... but wherever I go, when I come across adults raising their voices at their moms for trivia and harmless things, I'd feel disturbed.  It's like "Hello, what justify you raising your voice at the woman who went through so much pain giving birth to you and sacrificed so much of her life because she loves you more than herself?" With small children, they may be forgiven to some extent because they aren't matured enough to appreciate what's good and what's not, although they should be taught from young not to speak rudely to their parents.  But with adults, that will be a bit difficult to reconcile.


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