New Path Ahead

Here's a view that's breathtaking enough for one who's been under intense stress for the past few days, or weeks for that matter... and after not seeing the sun for 10 days.

One of the views from Ward 4A at Hospital Ampang

All day all night
A call from the hospital for me to stay in with my kid was a positive one indeed.  Deep inside, I also knew that it's the beginning of a changed lifestyle.

How does it feel to be in hospital for 10 days without any contact with the world out there?

The facilities at Hospital Ampang are generally good, but the lack of access to news and such soon made me lost track of the date, as well as how many days I've been there.  

At the Mothers' Room of the NICU, the lights were on all day and night with no room for darkness.  All of us there face various types of stress - worrying about our babies, adapting to taking care of babies by ourselves (for first timers), and so on.  The NICU is very cold.  I'm not fearful of cold temperature, yet this one was a challenge to me.

Bring your own cutleries!
The food at Hospital Ampang is generally ok, but mothers who check in to the Mothers' Room of the NICU are advised to bring along their own fork and spoon as none are provided there.  Cutleries are only provided for people in the wards, not NICU.  Also, it's advisable to bring along a small knife if you prefer to skin your apple or pear.

 Meal at NICU

Lunch at Ward 4A.  Nasi briyani... yum........

Everything first time
Indeed it was.  It's the first time I changed diapers, first time feeding a baby, and first time swaddling one.  I also didn't know how to burp a baby.  I had no idea how it's done until I observed it from the nurses and my fellow roommates.  So much of theoretical knowledge and yet zero experience in actual handling!

Among the challenges
...are feeding a baby using a syringe instead of bottle.  According to the doctor, it's to avoid nipple confusion among babies.  Not unexpected though, as Hospital Ampang is categorised as "Hospital Rakan Bayi" (or baby-friendly) that endorses breastfeeding.

When I first checked in, I was disappointed by my kid's poor appetite.  I'd have to wake him up every 3 hours for feeding (33 cc EBM+1/2 scope Carborie+0.6 cc MCT oil) or else there wouldn't be feeding at all.      And using a syringe is not exactly pleasant in motivating a baby to feed because a syringe is hard while a baby's natural instinct is to suckle on a soft surface.

There's a distinction between spitting up and vomiting, but in reality it's not really easy for a first timer to tell the difference in the beginning.  A vomiting-phobia person who'd do anything to prevent vomiting and also fearful of seeing others puke, I ended up wearing a thick face by frequently referring to the nurses and also doctors whenever I saw anything spilling out from my kid.

I didn't have much time to sleep.  Perhaps only 4 hours daily, if any.  I was working round-the-clock.  In short, you may say that I had a relaxing "confinement month" because I didn't need to care for a baby immediately after delivery, but the following month I had to do double the amount.

Anyway, a mother who's concerned about her child will not mind doing everything she can for her child.  After going through a long journey of challenges, I'm grateful for the opportunity, because to be called in to live with the baby means a progress is underway.

A few days later (I don't know how many days because I've lost track of the calender), I was told that my child and I would be out of the NICU to the ordinary ward for babies.  And thus we moved to Ward 4A, which is much more pleasant because it has a more relaxed environment, less cold, and more spacious.

I wish to continue, but.....

The Lactation Room at Ward 4A

Nothing beats what's natural, so mother's milk is always the best.  I used to have an abundant supply of milk until a sudden cessation when I checked in to 4A.  A typical single yield of 100ml suddenly dwindled to 20-40ml.

I don't know what went wrong.  I've highlighted it to the doctors, but things mysteriously didn't work out even though I went along with the advices.  My favourite question is "Why does my body always work against my kid?"

I'm a little disappointed by the fact that I'm now relying on premature formula >50% of the time.  The maximum I managed to provide my kid now is about 20 ml of EBM, and about 30 minutes of breastfeeding which seemed inadequate because my kid isn't satisfied with me due to my slow flow.  

So difficult to obtain
I had difficulties finding pharmacies that sell Carborie and MCT oil (MCT stands for medium chain triglyceride) to fortify my milk as advised by the dietician.  After calling up the pharmacies of various hospitals, I only managed to find Carborie at Pantai Hospital Ampang.

Conclusion
Prior to discharge, I was taught BLS.  Other advices including not to bring baby to public places when he's still small, visitors must be well when they come, and that we should see a pediatrician if the baby is unwell.

And now is the beginning of a new journey ahead.  A journey which I do not know what to expect, so I shall only go along with what needs to be done for the moment.  Now that we've gone through the 1st phase, a new set of concern thus comes.