Happy 65th Birthday!

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Happy 65th birthday to Alvin’s other grandmother… the mother of Alvin’s mom!


I didn’t really take note of the calendar before I started having dreams of a departed one for the past few nights. So lucid yet so surreal… I almost forgot in my dreams that she’s actually no longer physically-around.

Seeing my kid from sideways feels like seeing her likewise. It’s even more of the case when he smiles. Scientifically, it isn’t unusual for a grandchild to inherit certain genes of an ancestor.  On the emotional aspect, it’s strangely positive as if such phenomenon is God’s way of embalming the memories of a departed person "alive", nonetheless.

How Preemie Moms are Chosen

By Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. 

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. 

"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. 

Marjorie Forrest, daughter.  Patron Saint, Celia. 

Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity. 

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a preemie”. 

"The angel is curious.  "Why this one, God? She's so happy." 

"Exactly," smiles God. 

"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel." 

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel. 

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. 

I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. 

You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. 

She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy." 

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you." 

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. 
This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness. 

"The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?" 

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. 
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. 

She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. 

She will never take for granted a spoken word. 

She will never consider a step ordinary. 

When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. 

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise above them. 

She will never be alone. 

I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side." 

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. 

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Food for my kid - Part 2

Introduction
I am a little slow when it comes to introducing solid food, because I do not want to risk causing constipation to my kid. I went by the unconventional way and at 9 months @ 6 months corrected age, I officially started my kid with solid food.

Ideally, I do not want to rely on instant food all the time, as may be portrayed in my earlier note.  Since I have finally been able to adjust my time now, why not dedicate some to do a favour for my kid?

My intention of jotting these down is not to show off to the world as if I'm a supermom or a supercook, but just to share and maybe keep these as some kind of nostalgia.  In fact, I'm far from perfection and still have a long way to learn.  Also, who knows if one day Alvin asks what's his first food? 

Our 2nd puree
This is banana puree.  The best banana for puree is "pisang emas", the cute and petite ones.  It's tasty and small (the latter factor is important if you prepare the puree using a spoon).

Fish and pumpkin porridge

The raw materials....

and the end result. 

This is a mixture of carrot and pumpkin.  Blended into paste form and cooked.

Somehow sensing the possibility of rejection, I have decided to incorporate this puree together with the porridge instead of feeding direct. 

Perhaps some may notice that I'm using milk storage containers as food containers nowadays... not wanting them to end up as white elephants ever since the involuntary cessation of b-feeding/EBM project (I'm still in slight disbelief that I'm dependent on FSM because it's contrary to my original intention, but I'm forced to settle with it). 




And lastly, this is porridge with fish and red spinach.  I love red!  :)

There's still a long list of other food ahead to experiment, but for a start, lets stick to these plus introduce some new ones gradually.

9 Months Ago & Today

Came across these once-popular post-and-tag questionnaires recently, and since they seem relevant to what I've experienced about 9 months ago, I've decided to fill in my answers.  A pregnancy-related questionnaire akin to a nutshell of pregnancy + labour, as follows: 

1. WAS YOUR FIRST PREGNANCY PLANNED?

Yes and no. 

Yes because I thought the idea of having a kid seems nice. 

No because I did not plan the time to be pregnant.    

2. WHAT WAS YOUR SECOND CHOICE NAME FOR YOUR OPPOSITE GENDER NAME?

Adeline. 

Why “A”?   

Recalling my days in school, my name was either the last or second last in class because my surname starts with “Y” and thus used to be seated at the final row in the examination hall.  Likewise when it came to the queue for using the computer when I was in lower primary school – those olden days when access to a computer was considered a privilege.

As a result, right from primary one itself, I’ve thus resolved to have my children’s name start with “A” in order for them not to follow my path.   

3. WHAT WERE YOUR REACTIONS?

Excited but dead-scared at the same time, because I was bleeding at the time when the pregnancy test showed a positive result.   

Immediately I was worried about the possibilities of either an ectopic pregnancy, or a soon-to-come miscarriage.    What a negative person, you may think...

In my heart, I was already filled with the morbid thought of “oh no, there goes another life after the demise of one (i.e. my kid's other grandmother) just 6 months ago”.

4. HOW OLD WERE YOU?
29. 

5. HOW DID YOU FIND OUT YOU WERE PREGNANT?
Using the Clearblue home pregnancy test.

6. WHO DID YOU TELL FIRST?
My father.  I happened to be at my father’s place of dwelling when I took the test.  

7. DID YOU WANT TO FIND OUT THE SEX?
No.  Contrary to most mothers who’re excited about it, I was actually afraid to find out due to one and only one reason which had haunted me ever since I was 16.  It was when I learnt about X-linked inheritance from my favourite subject in school. Whether my fear is based on valid grounds (long story, so no need to elaborate here) or otherwise, only God knows.  Call it paranoia. 

8. DUE DATE?

August 12^th. 

9. DID YOU HAVE MORNING SICKNESS?

Mild symptoms, and took place mostly at night.  Hardly puked, but constantly sleepy, and dizzy sometimes.

10. WHAT DID YOU CRAVE?

A yummy bowl of authentic Penang Asam Laksa.  Dishearteningly, this crave frequently went unfulfilled because no one bothered to find out where to get good laksa for me locally. 

11. WHO/WHAT IRRITATED YOU THE MOST?

The lack of empathy from the public at large locally.  Sadly, most Malaysians are very ‘kiasu’ when it comes to securing seats in public transports.  I used to offer my seat whenever I see a pregnant person, but I hardly got to sit when I was one myself.   Only the minority have enough kindness.   

Just to add… here’s something about the unfriendly situation in taking public transportation in our country.  This is my encounter after I’ve delivered:

Once, I was in the Kelana Jaya Line LRT (formerly called PUTRA).  The train was crowded.  There’s a heavily pregnant lady probably very close to her EDD, standing and holding on to the rubber handle.   Except for one man of foreign origin, all the others who’re locals and sitting on the row of seats in front of this lady appeared indifferent.  

The indifferent locals were ‘ladies’ as well as ‘gentlemen’ smartly dressed up.  But they had chosen to ignore the pregnant lady who had to struggle a bit to remain stood up whenever the train ran on a bent path.   In the end, only the foreign man was kind enough to offer her a seat.  Can you imagine what will this man tell his countrymen about Malaysia once he’s back home?

12. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CHILD'S SEX?
A boy.

13. DID YOU WISH YOU HAD THE OPPOSITE SEX ?
I do not mind.  But like I said earlier, I was afraid to have a boy due to my risky status, genetically-speaking. 

14. HOW MANY POUNDS DID YOU GAIN THROUGHOUT THE PREGNANCY?
6 kg.  The seemingly "low" weight gain should be tallied with the fact of a shorter-than-normal gestational period.

15. DID YOU HAVE A BABY SHOWER?
No. 

17. DID YOU HAVE ANY COMPLICATIONS DURING YOUR PREGNANCY?

Apart from threatened miscarriage, if you were to count that as "complication", no. 

18. WHERE DID YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Hospital Ampang.  

19. HOW MANY HOURS WERE YOU IN LABOR?
No idea, as my contraction was asymptomatic i.e. painless (but I knew there was contraction because the CTG showed it).   

20. WHO DROVE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?

Long story.....

21. WHO WATCHED YOU GIVE BIRTH?
Doctors and nurses.

22. WAS IT NATURAL OR C-SECTION?
SVD... a.k.a. natural.

23. DID YOU TAKE MEDICINE TO EASE THE PAIN?

No.

24. HOW MUCH DID YOUR CHILD WEIGH?

1.16kg (cat-sized!).

25. WHEN WAS YOUR CHILD ACTUALLY BORN? 
Close to mine, just a few days after my 29th (we can share a birthday cake at home, yay!).

26. WHAT DID YOU NAME HIM/HER?

Alvin.

27. HOW OLD IS YOUR FIRST BORN TODAY?
Conventional age: 9 months, corrected: 6 months.

28. WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN?
I would like to, but I seriously shouldn’t if I choose not to be reckless.  Taking into consideration: 

i. The high risk of another premature case.  

It's important to note that all premature babies, including late preterm ones (like me in the past), face higher risks compared to their full-term counterparts.   

ii. After one miraculous escape from major complications related to prematurity, I may not be fortunate enough to escape again should I recklessly want a second child unless I find out what caused the premature delivery of dear A.