Driven by the random discovery of this old key chain while I was looking around what's in the drawer at home (being a busybody when it comes to "treasure-hunting" at home since I was a kid, a habit that dear Alvin has inherited), I am reminded of a topic that I have long wanted to share about but somehow didn't have enough motivation to do so due to more limited time nowadays. It belonged to my mother, obtained during the times when she's still at work before her retirement in 2004.
Here's sharing something on breastfeeding, or breast milk feeding experience with whoever happen to drop by.
Here's sharing something on breastfeeding, or breast milk feeding experience with whoever happen to drop by.
I am not an advocator as to what milk is superior or inferior. As someone who had gone through 2 different routes with 2 children i.e. formula-feeding and breastfeeding, I respect and understand the various reasons cited by mothers with regard to formula vs breastfeeding. Please don't outwardly condemn a formula-feeding mother without first knowing the reason behind it.
Breastfeeding vs breast milk feeding... The former means direct latching (DL) while the latter is to pump-and-feed. DL is the most ideal of course, but in the event where the baby doesn't suck, whether due to baby's downward refusal, baby's inability to do so, or having to be away from baby due to work, moms nowadays are fortunate with the availability of various good breastpumps. If you're passionate about breastfeeding but you're unable to help your baby latch correctly, it's a good idea to see a lactation consultant before committing to EP (exclusive pumping). EP is very tough-going because you must pump consistently in order to maintain milk production... but nevertheless a viable method to ensure that your baby gets your breast milk.
I shall organise my note as follows: learning from past mistake, my new journey, and the challenges I have encountered so far.
Lesson from Past Mistake
During the second pregnancy, I was still a little affected by my failure to breastfeed my eldest for longer (it stopped on exactly the 53rd day). That was back in 2012 and I ended up ranting about it on this blog. The regret was aggravated primarily because he is a very preterm baby, and secondly because he became constipated when on various formula milk.
So what did I do wrong that caused the sudden cessation of breastfeeding back then when I was initially into the "minimum 12 months target"?
As Alvin was separated from me because he was admitted into the NICU, DL thus could not take place. When I finally roomed in with him, I made a mistake of listening to one of the personnel at the NICU who told me to only pump and feed with syringe since Alvin lost weight when given DL.
When I think of it now, I should have ignored that advice and continue to let him latch for at least twice a day, on top of pumping. So what if Alvin's weight gain is slower and thus we had to stay in ward for longer? Maybe the instruction was given due to the fact that places are very limited at the NICU.
Had I been adamant, I might have continuous stimulation. The routine of pumping and feeding every 3 hours was physically too taxing on me. Mind you, at 1.4 kg when I roomed in with Alvin, he took close to 1 hour to finish 30 ml of milk. I ended up with a sharp decline in milk production, from 120 ml per session to just 30 ml.
Worst, I did not have a good pump back then and only relied on the sole unit of Spectra 7 at the NICU and subsequently at ward 4A to express milk. The queue to use the breast pump at the NICU can be long at times esp day time, so imagine how hard it is to adhere to the once-in-three-hours pumping schedule.
Renewed resolution: To turn over a new leaf
My past mistakes coupled with the useful info gained from The Breastfeeding Advocates Network, or TBAN on Facebook, I have made a resolution to try again this time. But with an open mind, prepared for all possibilities. I am grateful to my long-time friend Mei Mei for introducing me to TBAN.
The Spectra M1. It's a middle range pump (price-wise), but has excellent performance - good suction, compact, light-weight and low noise level. It comes with rechargeable built-in lithium ion battery and very few parts, so cleaning is easy. Ideal for those who pump part of the day. (NB: A hospital grade pump such as Spectra S1 will be better for EP mommies because the S1 is more durable, and is super quiet too)
The Second Journey - It's not what I thought it to be
Contrary to my initially-innocent impression that breastfeeding would be easier because the baby's right in front this time, it was all dreadful for the first few days.
Unlike previously when I started having drops of colostrum on the night Alvin was delivered, even in the absence of stimulation from latching, for this time, colostrum only came in on Day 4. It's no joke, for reason unknown, this time, there's no secretion whatsoever and (.)(.) felt very soft as if I was back in my early teenage years. Ken-ken would latch but within seconds, he would scream in hunger again. It would happen every hour even with correct latching. So stressful.
So what's for a hungry newborn to drink while waiting for mom's milk to arrive?
There was no choice but to sparingly seek the kind nurses to top up with formula. Before anyone starts to condemn me for resorting to formula while waiting for my own milk to come in, below are the reasons why I did it:
i) I had no colostrum until Day 4;
ii) More than half a day after birth, Ken-ken still had not passed meconium (newborn's first stool);
iii) There is an increased risk for jaundice when the passing of meconium is delayed. In this case, although I foresaw jaundice to occur, I would not wish it to go too high. Sufficient hydration = normal BO frequency = getting rid of bilirubin faster.
As for other times when I forced him to do "empty" DL, I ended up with a screaming baby. I was thinking, "A baby-friendly hospital is only friendly when mom has milk... otherwise it's not".
My insufficient lactation during the initial days is very obvious, as evident from Ken-ken's significant loss of weight ( 12%) for the first one week. Normally, a newborn would lose at most just 10% of his/her birth weight in the early days before re-gaining weight later.
Beneath what's good, lies many untold stories
People will usually only tell you what's good, and breastfeeding is certainly not an exception. "My daughter-in-law has abundant milk... my grandson is gaining weight very well...", said one aunty. "So-and-so exclusively breastfed her baby for 1 year, that's why the baby has Michelin-looking arms", said another.
Very rarely would anyone come around to tell you the "pains" involved in ensuring successful breastfeeding, unless that person is someone close.
Here's sharing some of the challenges that I faced in my attempt at breastfeeding:
"Alone on an island"
I shall not put a blame on anyone for not having sufficient understanding with my needs when I decide to go for breastfeeding, as no one in my close family circle had breastfed before.
According to sources, in my infancy, all that I'd ever had was colostrum for the first 3 days before being forcibly weaned off as my mother's doctor told her she needed to resume her thyroid medication soon, which was said to be contraindicated in breastfeeding. Both my husband and I grew up with the same formula milk - S26.
E.g. of familiar remarks:
(a) "Do you have to be so extreme...pump every "x" hours... that you even wake up in the middle of the night?"
Answer: To ensure continuous stimulation when baby is not sucking/when you're away from baby, which in turn ensures steady prolactin level. Milk production correlates to demand.
My faithful companion wherever I go...
(b) "This can't go on you know... it has to stop one day"
Answer: True, lactation cannot go on forever. It's important to strike a balance between loving your baby and taking care of yourself by having enough rest. But the making of such a statement at an early stage before baby is even 6 months old sounds very discouraging.
(c) "Never seem full... "
Answer: Human breast milk is easily digested, which is why breastfed infants get hungry faster. Cow's milk based formula takes longer to digest, and thus a baby who consumes formula feels full for longer.
Conclusion
In view of the routine of waking up at least once past midnight to express/feed, I do feel physically drained out.
On the statement made by many that breastfeeding moms slim down quickly, here's my scenario - While I've lost a few kg by now, I don't look slim. Flabby tummy seems so stubborn that with the right type of clothing, I may still pass as a pregnant woman... perhaps in late first trimester.
Appetite-wise, I get hungry almost all the time that I cannot imagine how I can look as slim as last time. If I eat a bit less, it affects milk production. If I eat a bit more, then I have enough. But just enough because I am not a high-yield mom. I used to have a little frozen stock when Ken-ken used to consume very little last time, which I have fed to Alvin and also given to a few other babies. Ken-ken rejects frozen milk after thawing+heating up.
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