This is a question which has been lingering for a long
time, yet I do not know what the answer should be.
Illogical but
true
A favourite phrase that I have created on my own says “instinct
is illogical, but true”. Yes, it
happens all the time.
How so? Here’s a simple example:
Today, I saw the KLIA Transit train speeding off right
before my eyes. My immediate instinct was
to run over to the KTM Komuter platform for a cheaper alternative since I was
going to be late anyway, no thanks to the ever-irritating attitude of drivers
who road hog and thus causing massive traffic congestion.
But upon a second thought, I gave up the idea because
I was reminded of my past negative experience with Komuter. And thus, I sat and waited for the next KLIA
Transit for about 10 minutes before I saw that KTM Komuter was coming. I should have followed my instinct, but I
failed to.
As told to me by someone
who’s the only child of the family
Weighing the pros and cons of the case of an only child
in the family, I had earlier concluded that it’s a matter of making the best of
what we have.
But not too long ago, I had a conversation with a
friend who is the only child of his parents.
His feedback to my question was “no,
no, no… bad idea. Like me, now that I’m
the only young person at home, I am tired of taking care of everyone and
everything all by myself. One person
caring for 2, and sometimes more….”
One or two, and
why?
Going by my favourite phrase, my first instinct tells
me that I should just settle with one child.
But going by logic, having one child sounds a little
scary to me.
I am very afraid to rely on just one person, I am
afraid of what if life does not happen according to expectation, which is not
surprising, and I do not know what the future beholds for my child, my husband,
and I.
Why one?
1)
I do not think I have the means to have more
than one child.
2) As I
am well-aware of my background, each pregnancy is a 50% risk for my offspring
or some further descendants.
3) I am
at high risk for premature delivery.
4) I may not be at a desirable age to bear a child by the time it’s suitable for Alvin to have a younger
sibling.
AND
5) I just
have a strange feeling that I may do wrong and cause harm if I have many children.
But why the
doubt?
Honestly, if anything happens to a single child, there
won’t be any child left at home. Life is
unpredictable. Also, how can I be so
sure that I can depend on my child? I wish the justification for child no. 2 can be so simple, but then it's not.
Things will be well and good if everything goes fine
with the second child, otherwise instead of 2 taking care of 2, we may end up with
1 taking care of 3.
In light of the risks that I carry for whoever that becomes my child, there’s a higher possibility of problems occurring. Prematurity alone is risky enough to cause damages, let alone other factors. Perhaps I shouldn't think any further.
In light of the risks that I carry for whoever that becomes my child, there’s a higher possibility of problems occurring. Prematurity alone is risky enough to cause damages, let alone other factors. Perhaps I shouldn't think any further.
"Syukur..."
In any event, I am thankful for whatever I have with me today. At the end of the day, whether one child or more, I shall not be over-concerned with the future. Each person has his or her own "福" (in Chinese), or "rezeki".
I shall not decide how many children to have, but rather leave it to my natural instinct.
Right now, I only have one wish and if God decides to grant me (or rather my child...) that, I shall have nothing more to ask for. But if things work otherwise, then who are we humans to complain, since I was already well-aware of the facts long ago?
No comments:
Post a Comment