Hi-hi, smile-smile, then oh no!
Something just occurred to me this afternoon as I entered my workplace after taking a short meal break outside. To many, this may be very minor, but to some, it may not be.
I can only imagine one thing though: If I can get so significantly affected to the extend of having to pen down my feelings somewhere in order to break away from the resulting guilt, the other person may probably have negative impression about me too.
What a great way to bring myself closer to self-destruction, for the person concerned is none other than someone whom I respect both professionally and personally for her wisdom and leadership qualities, yet still appearing motherly .
Blame no one but myself... and a little about the past
If I were to play the blame game, I will surely put it upon "I'm sleep-walking and thus the blur-blur reaction". While it's true that I did not manage to catch sufficient sleep last night due to multiple reasons, including that all of us - Alvin, Aaron and I, are infected by some unknown bug that gave us a fever for the past few days, while the husband recovered a few days ago (geez.... again, not long after mycoplasma!), still, that's not a logical reason for not acting like my usual self when it comes to someone of respect and seniority.
Ok lah, let's look from the brighter side... at least I still went to work although not on tip-top condition, contrary to what someone from my past must be thinking that I (or many others) would do. Speaking of the one who used to marah-marah but later became a motivating factor behind the realisation that I've got to improve in relation to certain aspects.
Ouch to that mistake!
Back to the story today, I came across the person when I was about to open the door to enter my work place. We nodded, smiled and exchanged "Hi" to each other. That was alright.
The only thing I did wrong, in my own view, was that, upon entering the intended space, I forgot (yes, literally forgotten!) to keep the door opened for a little longer until after she had walked out. While the door didn't close, she ended up having to hold the door a little after that.
Gosh, I don't know why, but this is so not-me, for under the same circumstances, I used to tahan the door from closing for everyone regardless of position and age... and how could I fail to do what I normally do and this happened to be someone very senior?
Of course I do not know whether the person concerned will feel offended with my unusual act this afternoon, but deep inside, I pray that she will forgive me, or not think of anything bad because it's unintentional. I'm kind of ambivalent about what to do - but I am unsure if apologising to the person concerned is even a good idea, because for all I know, I may be just over-sensitive and people don't even realise or bother about its significance!
Conclusion
From now onward, I must keep tab of myself at all times. Be alert and never go around as if I'm sleepwalking. For you'll never know when nightmare turns real by just a few seconds of slack, oh that may not be forgivable anymore. Take a conscious effort to learn from past mistakes.
Lastly, just in case if I were to come across something similar but in a vice-versa capacity in the future, I must always remind myself that I've done this myself... just bersangka baik and not think of the other party as being impolite or anything equivalent to that... because:
Lastly, just in case if I were to come across something similar but in a vice-versa capacity in the future, I must always remind myself that I've done this myself... just bersangka baik and not think of the other party as being impolite or anything equivalent to that... because:
I love this phrase.....
Credit: Not known, but it's circulated over the social media networks
