Dear Alvin

If by "thickening my face" I can save you from potential risks, no matter what...
I shall do it for you.

If by me getting scolded, I can do something in your interest even though without anyone's knowledge or appreciation...
I am ever ready to face the music.

If by having less time to sleep and indulge, I can ensure that you are properly-nourished...
I shall sacrifice my time and energy just to give you the best food that I can provide.

If by me having a smaller space to sleep so that I can fulfill your wish to sleep beside me...
I am more than happy curl myself up so that you will enjoy a better slumber.

If by me going through hardship, I can see you thrive...
I shall have no qualms, but only gratitudetowards the Creator. 

Soon, but not yet.

~ We have been through so many fears in the beginning of our days together, and I'm ever grateful that you're going to be 1 soon.  Happy birthday..... to us, this month!

~ Speaking of fear, it's the fear of losing you right from the day I learnt of your existence due to a few occasions of threatened miscarriage.  My fear continued when you're born at 29 weeks... and my fear drags on until now even though speed seems to be part of you.  No, I have not forgotten that I once called myself a victim of mutation because I inherit a certain "undesired recessive gene".

~ I may wrongly give the impression to others that I am clingy or over-protective.  I am now because you're still small and I miss you very much whenever I have to be away from you. But in times to come, I shall lift one-by-one of my level of protection.  After all, no matter how much I love you, I am realistic and would like to see you gain independence as you grow up.  No "momma's boy" please.

  

~ I am thankful for the one-time miracle before my eyes, trespassing all odds.  I have no more to ask from God, but only for all the folks around me to live happily and healthily.

~ I do not set any aim for Alvin but prefer him to set his own.  It suffices that I have a child who is just like any other children out there - free to play, learn and explore the world.  And to be as independent as possible when grown up.