National School vs. National-Type Chinese School + My School Experience

As the children grow older, one of the frequently-asked-questions (FAQ) from surrounding folks was "Which school are you going to enroll your child in?".

Introduction

As salaryman and salarywoman i.e. folks who work for employers, our long-term viable options thus do not include private and international schools.  Instead, it's either going to be a fully-government school or a government-funded school.

My husband and I are from a different educational background, although both of us sat for the SPM examination in the final year of our secondary school (or high school).  He started his education at a national-type Chinese school, or SJK(C), while I started my primary education at a missionary-owned school that receives partial government-funding, but is otherwise known as national school, or Sekolah Kebangsaan (SK).

Fast forward to the present

From my observation when I happen to walk or drive past primary schools nowadays, at least the ones near my place, I see an obvious racial segregation among the schools.  

(1) SJK(C) - Predominantly Chinese pupils, with a small number of Malay and Indian pupils.

(2) SK - Predominantly Malay pupils, with a small number of Indian pupils.  I did not see any Chinese pupil.

Is it true that the ones from my generation are really gone?  What are the factors that lead to the current trend in relation to the type of school vs. racial background?

This or that, which is better?

Despite various debates as to the pros and cons of each type of school, upon gathering as much as input possible, I still do not know which is better - SJK(C) or SK?  

Although I've heard an equal number of good and not-so-good stories about SJK(C),  it's certainly unfair for me to make any comments for I have never been there myself.  Among the main comments that I've heard from various folks are high amount of homework and high level of stress.  But who am I to judge if the pressure exerted in school, if it's true, is really unbearable?

The Chinese school dilemma

There have been a number of successful people whose alma mater are SJK(C).  But at the same time, there are some who did not get through SPM  due to problems with Bahasa Malaysia, which is the medium of instruction for all national secondary schools and is a compulsory SPM subject to pass.   Therefore it's highly-subjective, what works well for one may not work for another.

My early experience as a "murid sekolah kebangsaan"

For SK, here's sharing some personal experience on the early days of my life as a pupil of SK back in the 90's.  I'll share not only the language aspect, but also all things related to the ups and downs that I went through in Primary 1.

(1) Prior to beginning my formal education, as a child, I could understand a bit of Malay language (Bahasa Malaysia or BM).  I can faintly recall having mingled with a few Malay girls slightly older than me who lived near my mother's work quarters at Kg. Sg. Terap, Batu Gajah for 5 years.  By the time I was 6, I've moved to another area.  However, as I've never really spoke BM prior to starting school, my command of BM then was only limited to listening and not speaking.  

(2) Back in the 90's, there's a good mix of pupils of all racial backgrounds at my school.  That's the true Malaysia - diversity!  There's also where we learnt about each other's cultures from a young age.

(3) One of the first things taught by my good form teacher Puan Nor Aini was how to seek the teacher's permission to go to the toilet.

(4) We spent almost the entire year polishing our alphabets and suku kata, which is the foundation to read and spell in BM.

(5) English was taught beginning from the second semester of Primary 1.

(6) Primary 1 back then comprised a light blend of subjects - BM, English, Mathematics, Music and Physical Education.  And Islamic Education for Muslim pupils and Moral Education for non-Muslim pupils.  The aim was to create a strong foundation before moving to higher levels.  It's a drastic contrast from schools nowadays where pupils are loaded with heavy-going content of subjects right from primary 1.

(7) Language and Self-Defence: During the early months, apart from what's taught by my teachers, I could not speak more.  The down side was being unable to defend myself in certain situations.  The following is not a grudge statement, but purely to share a true experience.

My mom used to stock my pencil case full of pencils for fear that I wouldn't have enough to use in class.  A classmate who sat near me lost a few of her pencils, that also happened to be the same brand as mine... during the heydays of the red-bodied Staedtler Atlas HB pencils.  

When being asked by my teacher whether I had taken my classmate's pencils, I said "tak ada" (no) but could not explain the reason I had so many was because my mom had packed that amount for me to school.  

Unfortunately, with my silence + circumstantial evidence i.e. I was having so many pencils while my classmate's were lost, I was wrongfully-scolded for taking things that didn't belong to me.

(8) The reasons my parents chose to put me in Sekolah Kebangsaan:

-  Both of them came from English schools and thus SK sounded less strange to them compared to SJK(C).

- My dad feared if I could not catch up in BM and English if I go to SJK(C), and the consequences that follow.

- My mom had an initial idea of putting me in SJK(C) because she understood the challenges of being a non-Chinese-reading Chinese and did not want me to go through the same.  But she gave up the idea later upon considering my dad's view.

- My parents also had concerns of them not being able to teach me how to do my homework in Chinese.  But it turned out that I've never sought their help for homework anyway.

The good 6 years in SK and my limitations

If you were to ask me whether I think my parents had made a right choice by enrolling me in SK, or if I regret their choices, well, here goes:

(1) I'm grateful for the good guidance and care provided by all my teachers from Primary 1 to 6.  

(2) Although my primary school teachers were predominantly Malays, I had neither been discriminated against nor received unfair treatment.

(3) SK is a good place to learn BM due to the vast opportunity to speak in the language.

(4) When it comes to work life, I'm thankful that with my school background, I feel comfortable working in places where the majority of my colleagues are Malays.  Likewise in friendship.

(5) Incidentally, despite the above, most of my Chinese friends from SJK(C) are alright as well.  For instance, my housemates and a few of my Mandarin-speaking classmates at Sedaya (now called UCSI) had been very understanding when I could not speak Mandarin  to them in the beginning.  Thanks to being with them for a year, plus a few more years with some friends from China, I managed to learn sufficient Mandarin to speak it almost daily nowadays.

(6) But I have a limit in relation to what I can read.  I heard that Chinese newspapers have lots of juicy news and articles, and wish I can read them too.

(7) I noticed that many SJK(C) pupils are very good at mathematics.  Although I do not know exactly why, I suspect it's due to the high amount of homework, something akin to practice makes perfect.  Anyway, being not a very studious person, I don't think I would have made a good SJK(C) pupil because I actually dislike homework.

Conclusion

SJK(C) vs. SK, both have their respective pros and cons.  It's also not easy to ascertain whether a child will be better off in which type of school.

As for Alvin, it's still a long way before I know for sure what school is suitable for him.  A recap:

As a former very premature baby, Alvin is physically alright on the whole.  However, he is at higher risks of developmental delays and other disorders compared to his peers who were born at the right time.  Despite his intelligence in some areas, he has delays in language (started to talk at the age of 4 this year - prior to this he was silent, with some mistakes between "you" and "I") and fine motor (task requires the usage of pencil is still a challenge for him).

What if?

If Alvin were to go to SJK(C) like 99.9% of his peers from his kindergarten, will he be on par in terms of language before Primary 1 so that he can cope with learning multiple languages simultaneously, especially without significantly jeopardising BM?  Unless one is prepared to migrate, the national language is undeniably crucial.  Walk into any government department, e.g. to renew an IC or to get treatment at a government hospital, knowledge of BM is very important to get around in Malaysia.  

In terms of fine motor delay, just in case if improvement is not up to the desired level, imagine the nightmare of having many pages of Chinese-writing homework on a daily basis. This is because repeated writing is the only way to learn how to write Chinese words.  Dr. Raja once mentioned that at the moment, SJK(C) may be a bit overwhelming for Alvin due to the amount of subjects and homework.

If Alvin were to go to SK...  Although you may tell me that he's my child and therefore I shouldn't be bothered so much by others' opinion, I also do not want to be conveniently blamed for depriving my child of a chance to learn Chinese language properly, or for any unforeseen problem that Alvin may face in SK.

Just like how my parents found themselves more comfortable with SK due to their own background, I believe my husband and my parents-in-law will be more comfortable with SJK(C) because they've been there and hence they know what to expect. 

Apart from a few words learnt from kindergarten such as "nasi", "telur", "hujan", etc,  If Alvin were to attend SK, his command of BM will be considered very low compared to the majority in class who are expected to be native speakers.  And recalling my unpleasant experience of being a defenseless primary 1 pupil, I won't be surprised if Alvin will go through it.  As trivia as it may look, it was a huge heartache for me as a child back then.

The wishlist

Sometimes I wish I have, say 6 months of exclusive break where I can teach Alvin basic BM before school-going age.  To brush up his alphabets, suku kata and important vocabulary just like what I was taught in school.  So that just in case if Alvin is indeed better-suited for SK, he will not be badly-behind and suffer from not being able to speak up.

But if Alvin somehow gets through all his current challenges, I won't have any reservation about him attending SJK(C) although I may at first wonder what's it like.

How do other parents balance between themselves and their children's school and leisure?  I also wonder what are the important criteria that parents take into account in deciding what school to send their children to.

Cherengin Hills Convention & Spa Resort, Janda Baik, Pahang

Introduction 
The Cherengin Hills Convention & Spa Resort is strategically-located within beautiful tropical surroundings in the heart of Janda Baik in Bentong, Pahang.  The opportunity to be there was due to a work-related event recently.

Getting there
The road to Janda Baik is hilly and steep, and not to mention the magnificent panorama that comes together with it.  I wish I could take a few snaps of the view, but as I felt slightly dizzy on the way uphill, I tried to relax and refrained from activities that require focusing, such as taking photographs. The hill journey felt long, but in reality it's only very short.

Road transport to Janda Baik takes roughly one hour from KL via Lebuhraya Pantai Timur (LPT) or the east coast expressway, depending on which part of KL as well as the city's traffic condition. Meanwhile, the journey from the Cherengin Hills resort back to PTJ took approximately 1 hour and 30 minutes on that Sunday evening.

 Front building of the Cherengin Hills Convention & Spa Resort

At the lobby, facing the one of the blocks that houses the convention rooms 

 The open-air lounge at the lobby... it's cozy but I dare not sit too long as the plush sofa made me feel like falling asleep

The swimming pools 

A dip in the pool

For many children and even adults, one of the most attractive parts of any hotel or resort would be the swimming pools.  I do not know exactly the depth of each pool, but based on personal estimation - water level up to my neck, the adult's pool must be at least 1.4 meter deep.  

The pools are normally filled with people in the mid-morning between 9 am to 12 noon.  Size-wise, I think that both pools are huge enough for the size of the resort.  Unlike most swimming pools elsewhere that have strong chlorine smell, the ones here don't.  Instead, the water is salty like sea water.  The floor of the pool may feel slippery for some, so for non-swimmers like me who merely depend on walking to survive in the pool, please walk carefully.  

Speaking of the pools, we had some activities there.  There's a trust-related game where group members are to catch an individual member who's supposed to dive backward into the pool (taking turn, one by one) , ensuring that this person does not get into the water.  A number of us fell into the water to a small extent.  

Morning view from one side of the room on the 2nd floor

Inside the room.  This one belongs to the smallest category of room called Superior Room.  Larger rooms are available and recommended for families.

The room and facilities

Each room has individual air-conditioning units, so guests are free to adjust the temperature according to their preferences.  One of the window panels can be opened if you like some fresh air to flow in or just to take a nice view of the scenery.  The room was clean too.

Basic toiletries such as shampoo, body wash, soap, shower cap and sanitary bag are provided in the room.  Two pieces of towel and a piece of floor towel are in as well.  More stuff are provided for Deluxe Rooms and above.  A few units of irons and ironing boards are placed outside the rooms. Free wi-fi services are available at the lobby and convention rooms.

Afternoon view from the center of the room window

Dream Valley, which is basically a farm and mini zoo with many rabbits and a few other small animals 

One of the rabbits at Dream Valley.  The rabbits are surprisingly not afraid of people.

Gelugor Garden Cafe past dinner time.  It's an open-air coffee house.

The coffee house

Gelugor Garden Cafe serves buffet meals.  A la carte meals either at the Cafe or for room service are available on request.  Most of the dishes served are local cuisines with a bit of western servings. Tastiness is subjective, but overall, I was happy with most of the food served. Gotta take care not to over-eat, so portion control is very important.  

Cat at the cafe

View of Kampung Cherengin from the resort 

Spa of greenery

One of the questions that came into picture upon touring around the resort was that  "Is there a spa?"  Despite "Spa" being part of the name Cherengin Hills Convention & Spa Resort, there isn't one there. However, the tranquil surrounding should be as good as a spa in providing relaxation to its guests.

Conclusion
The check-in and check-out processes were efficient as they're quite fast.  The staff whom I've encountered so far were polite and helpful.

Climate-wise, Janda Baik is not as cold as Genting Highlands but it's cooler than the ordinary low land.  Phone line reception is good on the hill.  The Cherengin Hills resort is a good place for team building programmes and physical activities, or simply for a short and relaxing break at a village within a lush greenery.  It's ideal for folks who prefer quiet holidays away from shopping malls, busy streets and concrete jungles.

If you were to ask me whether I'll return to Cherengin or any other part of Janda Baik, well it depends mainly on one factor.  Initially, I was skeptical if I would enjoy it because I had an idea there isn't much to see other than tropical rain forest.  But once I was there, I soon fell in love with the place.  One thing for sure, if I were to make a future visit, I should get some Novomin first in order not to risk having a rough trip uphill and down.

Baby Misya Ariana

A delightful news came with the recent arrival of a cute niece called Puteri Misya Ariana Yap, whom my brother (the dad) sometimes calls Miss Yap.  She is petite, but very loud.

Ariana, the only girl among her immediate cousins comprising all boys as of now, was born in Hospital Serdang on a Thursday evening.  Her delivery was induced as her mom i.e. my sister-in-law Ira started developing PE at around 38 weeks (baby’s already term). 

Thankfully, Mommy Ira is getting better now.  However, little Ariana was admitted into the NICU on Day 4 due to jaundice. 

Close to a year after Ian and Ira’s marriage, I was also finally able to personally meet Ira’s sister, youngest brother and 2 year old nephew for the first time.  It was nice, but at the same time I felt a little bad because of the long duration taken to do so due to time constrain.  

Congratulations to both new parents.  To Ariana, welcome to the world and may you grow up happy, healthy and be a good person all-round.    

The Energy Commission Diamond Building

The Diamond Building of ST is no longer an alien by now, but only recently I managed to tour the building beyond the office areas.  

Located at Precinct 2 of Putrajaya, opposite the Immigration Department and KPDNKK, the construction of the Energy Commission Diamond Building (Bangunan Berlian Suruhanjaya Tenaga - ST) began on 13 September 2007 and was completed 15 days ahead of its timeline on 15 March 2010. 

Designed by Ar. Napisah Radin in collaboration with Professor Soonthorn from Thailand, the Diamond Building is among the pioneer green buildings in Malaysia, besides the LEO building (KeTTHA), GEO building (Pusat Tenaga Malaysia), Mesiniaga IBM building, and Securities Commission (SC) building.

Soft green landscape surrounding the building

The design strategy of this building encapsulates:

(1) Energy Efficiency:

(2) Water Efficiency:
(3) Indoor Environmental Quality; and
(4) Outdoor Environmental Quality.

A video that highlights the technical aspects and green features of this building is available on the Net.  Do click on this link to Youtube and take a look at the video for more information.

Visitors are greeted with soothing water feature at the glass canopy of the main entrance

The Diamond Building is projected to have Building Energy Index (BEI) of 85kWh/m²/year at 2,800 hours usage, compared to the standard index of 135kWh/m²/year.  

View of the dome from inside the atrium

Light trough at Level 7.  Looks like conventional lights, but it isn't.  Instead, it that harnesses the natural daylight.

Path to the 8th floor

 Roof light trough at the Green Rooftop.

Where rain water is harvested 

... and channeled into the Rain Water Tank for utilisation at the washrooms.

Floor slab cooling

The photovoltaic panels.  Power generated from the solar system is then sold to the national grid.

Interior view of the tilting facade

The Diamond Building is open for visitation on selected days, with prior appointment.

Case off guard

I seldom talk about cases reported in the media, but a Court case from a couple of months ago had caught my attention when it was reported.

The accused, X, is someone I know professionally, and the case was sensational for a while due to the high profile of the victim involved.

Although X specializes in a field that is one of the most vulnerable for legal action, I really did not expect the facts of the case in which he's charged, as the charge against him is for an act that is not within his specialisation.

I was stunned by the severity of the offence charged i.e. s.304(b) PC.  The charge itself already looks deterrent enough, let alone whatever that will ensue thereafter, be it a conviction or an acquittal.

Anyway, the initiation of criminal charges is one of the discretionary powers of the AG. As the case involved a high profile victim, thus comes various speculations if the severe nature of the offence charged is due to that.

I feel sorry for the demise of the victim although I do not personally know him or his family... for he's someone's son, someone's spouse and someone's father.

At the same time, I also feel sorry to hear that the charge involves someone professionally-known to me, who's one among the team who had played an active role and done a very good job in helping to save someone dear to me a few years back.

Against logic for good or otherwise?

More than 2 years down the line, I am still unsure if I’m ready to gamble, or "don't care" once again. Sometimes I want more, but sometimes I don't.

Logic tells me that I am crazy to change my mind. However, my instinct tells otherwise, despite the apparent absence of logic. 

A stroll at Taman Tasik Pandan Perdana a day after saying goodbye to Paragard

However, based on past experiences with all other stuff, instinct had always been right compared to logic, despite appearing illogical and even impractical!  Logic vs instinct - which one prevails?

If not for one obvious reason (it's for the sake of A & A, with different reasons for both of them), there is otherwise no reason to change.  Rightfully, I should have been more than contented by now.  But coming from very small family, I have experienced some limitations being an only daughter with only one brother… while childhood was smooth-sailing, adulthood is a little challenging at times with only 2 of us i.e. we’re short-handed when certain matters require care.

Against my logic and uncertainties, sweet-sister-Paragard a.k.a. IUCD of 2 years was finally out.  There’s no looking back, but to embrace whatever that comes, if there is any, or doesn’t come, if there isn't.  

In any event, I have not forgotten that I am not as fortunate as others who generally don’t require major interventions when it comes to carrying a pregnancy to term.  Hence, it further adds on to the need to carefully consider whether it's worth taking another risk.  

In the end, God knows best.  It shouldn’t matter anymore whether there is anymore adik or not.  Let’s allow nature to take place and don't ever put too much expectation on anything in order to avoid disappointment.  

Back Home... In Ipoh

On day 1 of the Hari Raya public holiday, we made a trip to Ipoh... a place called my hometown because there's where I was born.

But apart from being my place of birth and where my former family home was in, I'm otherwise pretty estranged from this city of delicacies, as I spent my entire life-in-school-and-beyond outside Ipoh, and hence had minimal experience being an "Ipoh girl".

Memories of my mom's humble garden at my former home

Anyway, I'm happy that I still have family members living in Ipoh, namely my aunts and my cousin. So, whenever I happen to be there, I'll pay them a visit them.

After the demise of my paternal grandmother in 2011, gone are the days when family members of all ages and from various locations used to come over and gather for lunch on Chinese New Year.

How time flies!  It's been 5 years since I had a home in Ipoh.  During this trip, I saw a number new developments, mostly comprising hotels, luxurious residences and some shopping malls... among them is AEON Station 18 which is ten minutes away from my former home by car.

My former home with new occupants today

Apart from all that, Ipoh appears largely the same as before, as I'm still able to get around without major hassles.

On a cloudy Wednesday evening...

Left: Ipoh Parade and Main Convent.

Right: Sam Tet School and the famous Tong Sui Kai (or dessert street, which opens at night) by the side, with new development called The Octagon (mixture of serviced apartment and retail outlets).

I felt a sense of proximity to my mother when I was Ipoh, because I spent a lot of my time with my mom in Ipoh after her retirement, and perhaps also because there's where her final resting place is.

On the positive side, fortunately Alvin did not suffer from car sickness this time, unlike last year. Both kids slept well and adapted generally fine as "Ipoh boys" throughout the stay.

If time permits and given a similar opportunity in the near future, I'd like to revisit more places in town, as well as meet up with more folks whom I've not met for very long in Ipoh, as well as in BG which is only 20 minutes away.  Let's look at the schedule and see how then.

Once in a blue moon & the over-protection myth

Seeing Red

I don't recall exactly when I last had conjunctivitis because I've not had it since secondary school.

But recently - last week, my left eye appeared red, but was neither itchy nor painful.  How innocent I was for thinking “nah, it must be just due to allergy” just because I was sneezing nocturnally for a few days.  Prior to this, Aaron and my husband were down with conjunctivitis for about a week.

To further aggravate troubles, I innocently put on contact lenses as if I was alright (I use them on weekdays for convenience and practicality and vanity reasons, but since my eyesight is not too bad, I go without glasses when I’m indoor e.g. at home and not in need of clear distance vision).  Vanity must be so intoxicating that it took away my common sense to realise the risk - so what if I've washed my hands?

By the time I started taking medical leave, both my eyes looked red and the left eye appeared worse than the right eye, as in being more painful, more swollen, and more watery.  The lymph node around the left hand side of my jaw was also swollen and painful - so it's clearly infection.

"One big one small"

Today is the 6^th day I’m having red eyes.  But unfortunately, it looks as if I’ll be forced to be away from work for the whole of this week.   

The usual case once you start school

As if “sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga”, as much as I wanted to stay at home without going out to public places with red eyes, I was nevertheless forced to go out today when Alvin is sick again.  Generally, it’s the usual sickness that affects many school-going children.  But then, it's chest infection again, oh no! 

When entering Dr Hew’s room at Columbia Asia Hospital Cheras this morning with Alvin and my husband, the first question from him was about my eyes, followed by about Alvin.  I feel very bad going out with red eyes – mainly because conjunctivitis is very infectious and painful, and secondly because of embarrassment.

Speaking of schooling and catching illnesses, while I am not concerned by the frequency of sickness, what bothers me is the “magnitude” of Alvin sickness due to his sensitive airways, highly likely due to the fact that he’s a very premature baby. 

Privy or not, it matters

But what disheartens me most are unsolicited (though well-intended) comments from parties who are not privy to Alvin’s case.  While I am grateful that Alvin has progressed generally well from the day he’s born as in not having major issues related to prematurity, he has a little extra path to walk through before he can be the same as most of his full-term-born counterparts.

For instance, he has some developmental delay in relation to language and fine motor.  Let's take a simple example, he only starts to speak now at the age of 4 and may not be able to answer a question like “Where is Ken Ken?” without giving you a blur-blur expression.   That’s generally the diagnosis of developmental paediatrician Dr Raja.

Back to unsolicited comments, I frequently received remarks like “I don’t understand why you don’t send your son to nursery earlier, so that’s why he’s still not talking at 3”…. Or “Of course he’s late, because you're stubborn”.  

The reasonable man test

Given a choice, do you prefer to let your child have an early start, or do you prefer to overprotect your child at the expense of his development?

The word “over-protection” is a taboo to me.  Given a choice, I wouldn’t mind Alvin starting school earlier than 4 years although it's not necessary to hurry.  But let’s take a look at his state of readiness first before divulging further.

The fact that a 4 year old child can have chest infection i.e. pneumonia twice within a period of 4 months which also coincides with upon entering pre-school, should be stark enough to spark a concern.  So imagine if he’s only 2 and if he were to battle all the infections within his nursery – can anyone imagine what sort of stuff he’ll go through?  If it’s a typical full-term baby, then of course the story may differ.  

Moral of the story, which I also frequently remind myself is that I’ll never make comments or speculations about how people raise their children.  In most cases, parents have solid reasons when they depart from the norm in certain matters.  Unless the full story is known, please refrain from comments on why is so and so doing this and that. 

Ahh… in any event, I am relieved that at this stage, Alvin does not have to be hospitalised yet... but don't know about later.  With an active conjunctivitis, rooming-in with Alvin in the ward will be one of the worst nightmares around, regardless of which hospital.  

Conclusion

Sometimes, I am curious to know what others at home think whenever Alvin falls terribly sick, although the logical side of me would think – why care about what others think as long as you’ve not done anything wrong?  Well, that's easier said than done.  And beneath my ice-cold appearance, I am flooded with lots of guilt and even self-anger.

What’s just a cough to other children may be more than just a cough for Alvin.  Sometimes too, I blame myself for bringing pain not only to Alvin, but also to the rest of the good family when they get distressed seeing a young child cough, cough and cough, as in last night from 1.00 am to 6.00 am, a few times in every 10 minutes, and had absolutely no appetite for the past 3 days.  

Call me silly and lousy, I regret the very premature delivery of Alvin although there was nothing that I could have done to prevent it back then because it was my first time and thus, I did not know that I’m having a defect called cervical incompetence.

On my red eyes, I wonder when will normalcy resume?  On another note, I am wondering too if I can have enough will-power to ditch my vanity for good as part of minimising risks towards my eyes in the future...

What's Mother's Day To Me: 5 Years Later

It's the month of May now, and Mothers' Day is around the corner.  Fancily-themed cakes are seen in the display refrigerators of bakeries in town.

When's the last time I celebrated Mother's Day in my own simple way?

May 1, 2011: The oh-so-happy-go-lucky moments
Like most folks who would take advantage of a long weekend i.e. weekend combined with public holiday, I returned home to Ipoh.  And since Mother's Day was going to be a week later, let's take the opportunity to celebrate it in advance.  In a low profile way, with a lunch treat for ourselves followed by walking around Kinta City.

Of course, when I compare the past with today, I wish I could have given more.  At first instance, I wish I could bring my mom to wherever she liked for lunch or dinner, shower her with holiday to her favourite destinations, and pamper her with a spa treat.

From the garden of my mom

But ultimately, I'm sure what most moms would prefer their children to spend as much time as possible with them, rather than merely provide physical materials like what was just mentioned.

May 8, 2011: Logic vs intuition
A week down the line, came another weekend.  I'm by nature not a homesick person, but for some mysterious reasons, I felt a strange urge of having yet another trip back home.  "Yes, tomorrow is Mother's Day, but have I not already celebrated in advance?", and thus, I decided to stay back instead of traveling home again after been there only a week ago.

Also, as I'd planned to travel to Ipoh the following week in view of another long weekend (it's going to be another public holiday for Wesak day), I thought I'd better go by logic as opposed to a spontaneous desire.

However, a heart-sinking moment came on Sunday night when my then already-legal-spouse (but yet to be customarily married and not living together yet) called in the evening to say hi, and told me that his family was out for Mother's Day dinner... My heart felt as if it was pinched. oh how I regretted not going home to be with my mother.

"Nah, why fret when I just saw my mom last week, and will be seeing her again in another 5 days?", was my self-consolation.

May 9, 2011: That call-in-distress
I just got seated at work after a break for lunch, when I received a call from my home in Ipoh on my phone.  I was initially a bit shocked when I saw the number on the display because I know my parents very well.  They would never call me during the work hours, unless there's something bad.

As this note is not aimed to elaborate the details of what transpired on that fateful day, let me just say that a person's life is very precious but fragile at the same time.

May 15, 2011: A farewell past midnight
It wasn't a farewell in the literal sense, because I didn't get to witness that final moment.  But May 15, is surely a date that can never be erased from the lives of at least three persons in the world.

Physically, there wasn't any tears from our eyes (because we're probably genetically-stone-cold in appearance), but spiritually, our hearts were probably flooded by an ocean of tears.   I had no qualms about the fact that when there's life, there's also death... but back then, I was shocked because my mom looked perfectly fine until the day when that dreadful call came into picture.

This is neither a note to rant about the past nor to show how that I'm a good daughter... oh no, I am far from what it takes to be a great child.  Instead, this is a note of walking down memory lane into some of the final, but memorable moments with my mother.

Moving forward 
Although I do not have the rezeki to spend more time with my mother, I am nevertheless thankful to God for lending me a mother who had done her best to raise me up... for a duration of one week short of 28 years.

For those who are fortunate to be blessed with the opportunity of being together with their mothers for a huge part of their lives, you've got to count your blessings and please do not take your moms for granted.

OK lah, maybe I am a little kepoh i.e. "busybody"... but wherever I go, when I come across adults raising their voices at their moms for trivia and harmless things, I'd feel disturbed.  It's like "Hello, what justify you raising your voice at the woman who went through so much pain giving birth to you and sacrificed so much of her life because she loves you more than herself?" With small children, they may be forgiven to some extent because they aren't matured enough to appreciate what's good and what's not, although they should be taught from young not to speak rudely to their parents.  But with adults, that will be a bit difficult to reconcile.

Oh My Goodness Gracious

As ordinary human beings, there will certainly be new lessons to be learnt everyday.  Sometimes, it's to improve ourselves, sometimes it's because we have committed mistakes in the past.  But whatever it is, perfection is not something realistic in real life, no matter how perfect we want to be.

Hi-hi, smile-smile, then oh no!

Something just occurred to me this afternoon as I entered my workplace after taking a short meal break outside.  To many, this may be very minor, but to some, it may not be.  

I can only imagine one thing though: If I can get so significantly affected to the extend of having to pen down my feelings somewhere in order to break away from the resulting guilt, the other person may probably have negative impression about me too.  

What a great way to bring myself closer to self-destruction, for the person concerned is none other than someone whom I respect both professionally and personally for her wisdom and leadership qualities, yet still appearing motherly . 

Blame no one but myself... and a little about the past 

If I were to play the blame game, I will surely put it upon "I'm sleep-walking and thus the blur-blur reaction".  While it's true that I did not manage to catch sufficient sleep last night due to multiple reasons, including that all of us - Alvin, Aaron and I, are infected by some unknown bug that gave us a fever for the past few days, while the husband recovered a few days ago (geez.... again, not long after mycoplasma!), still, that's not a logical reason for not acting like my usual self when it comes to someone of respect and seniority.

Ok lah, let's look from the brighter side... at least I still went to work although not on tip-top condition, contrary to what someone from my past must be thinking that I (or many others) would do. Speaking of the one who used to marah-marah but later became a motivating factor behind the realisation that I've got to improve in relation to certain aspects.

Ouch to that mistake!

Back to the story today, I came across the person when I was about to open the door to enter my work place. We nodded, smiled and exchanged "Hi" to each other.  That was alright.

The only thing I did wrong, in my own view, was that, upon entering the intended space, I forgot (yes, literally forgotten!) to keep the door opened for a little longer until after she had walked out.  While the door didn't close, she ended up having to hold the door a little after that.

Gosh, I don't know why, but this is so not-me, for under the same circumstances, I used to tahan the door from closing for everyone regardless of position and age... and how could I fail to do what I normally do and this happened to be someone very senior?

Of course I do not know whether the person concerned will feel offended with my unusual act this afternoon, but deep inside, I pray that she will forgive me, or not think of anything bad because it's unintentional.  I'm kind of ambivalent about what to do - but I am unsure if apologising to the person concerned is even a good idea, because for all I know, I may be just over-sensitive and people don't even realise or bother about its significance!

Conclusion

From now onward, I must keep tab of myself at all times.  Be alert and never go around as if I'm sleepwalking.   For you'll never know when nightmare turns real by just a few seconds of slack, oh that may not be forgivable anymore.  Take a conscious effort to learn from past mistakes.

Lastly, just in case if I were to come across something similar but in a vice-versa capacity in the future, I must always remind myself that I've done this myself... just bersangka baik and not think of the other party as being impolite or anything equivalent to that... because:

I love this phrase.....

Credit: Not known, but it's circulated over the social media networks

We're Sick! The Mycoplasma Attack :(

It all began with an innocent-looking cough and a mild fever on a Friday evening.  "Nothing unusual about it, as common infections are widespread at kindergartens and nurseries ", we thought to ourselves.

A twist of event leading to a twist of outcome

Due to a certain unfavourable reason that day and being obliging, we ended up at another clinic and not the clinic that we usually go to.  

Unfortunately, Alvin's cough became worse a day after.  Went back to the same clinic the 1 1/2 day later. This time, another dr attended to us (it's a partnership clinic).  Received a neb, followed by a change of antibiotic from cephalexin to amoxycillin. That night, Alvin's cough seemed a little relieved, but returned to its violent form by the next day.

In total, it's 4 days down the line, but Alvin's cough and fever still persisted.  The cough turned so bad that Alvin continued to wheeze even after nebulization, and when he coughed, it could run for 10 minutes straight in a row.  His sleep and appetite suffered - he refused all food, and drank very little.

Went back to the same clinic, the dr referred for admission on the same day.  

A little thought as to which hospital to go to came momentarily.  Cost vs convenience, familiarity vs uncertainty.  Finally, we decided to go to where we're already quite familiar with, which is also one of the nearest from where we are.

The process of admission
The emergency department at Columbia Asia Cheras on that Monday night (near 9 pm) was surprisingly crowded for its size.  The waiting time was considered ok, the medical officer on-duty (I didn't get his name) was quite prompt in attending to us. But the waiting time to go to the ward was long, it's past 1 am on the following day.

First, the dr checked Alvin's breathing. After that,  Alvin was given a neb, followed by chest x-ray and blood test.  It's typical of children to scream when blood is drawn, likewise Alvin. 

About an hour later, pediatrician Dr Hew came, checked and asked a few questions about Alvin.  He later proceeded with branula insertion because Alvin will need IV fluid (he wasn't eating and drinking properly) and IV antibiotic.  We've seen Dr Hew a few times before, starting with Aaron about 2 years ago when he was admitted for phototherapy, and for a few vaccinations after that.  Dr Hew is a very soft-spoken doctor and explains things in pretty great details. 

I wish but I couldn't
In most cases when a young child is warded, the mother is the one who'd stay to take care of her child.  I wish I could do it, but alas!  As I am currently in my first month of employment at a new place, I am generally not allocated with  leave.

But compassionate leave, which includes hospitalisation of family members, is available.  However, I don't feel good taking it although my superior is very understanding... unless for critical causes (touch wood, I pray that nothing as bad will happen in my life anymore after one incident back in 2011 at Ipoh GH, which unfortunately had a negative outcome and I ended up utilizing my compassionate leave).

On weekdays, my mother-in-law helps out by staying with Alvin in ward every night, while my husband and my father-in-law accompany Alvin during from noon until the evening.  I only get to see Alvin after finishing work, and room-in during the weekend. 

The culprit, and oh no wonder
Yesterday was a bit fortunate as Dr Hew was around when I went to see Alvin in the late evening. Dr Hew explained a few things, inter alia that blood test shows Alvin is infected by the bacteria called Mycoplasma, or specifically Mycoplasma pneumoniae.  Oh, that's why the antibiotics he took a few days earlier from the clinic did not work at all! 

Alvin's present treatment comprises 4-hourly neb, oral medications for fever and cough, IV Zithromax and chest physio.  Hospitalisation may take between 5 to 7 days, depending on his recovery.  As of yesterday (Day 3 in ward?), he still coughed a lot, although with slightly improved appetite.  :(

Maybe Alvin is going to miss school for 2 weeks.  OMG, this is only the 2nd month in pre-school and he's already like this, I can't imagine how's it going to be like for one whole year.  I like the fact that pre-school helped him a lot in terms of development, like learning to talk and be more independent.  Yet I can't deny how fearful I am if similar illnesses were to recur, because what is ordinary URTI to many other kids, may not be the same for him.  It's likely because very preterm babies are physically not exactly the same as their full-term counterparts.

We too, are invaded by it
As M. pneumoniae easily spreads through cough droplets, it is thus very difficult to avoid getting infected especially when living within the same house and same room.

Aaron is sick now, although not to Alvin's extent (fingers-crossed).

Likewise, I couldn't escape either.  I had a fever (high, at 39 deg C) starting from Wednesday. My chest feels slightly tight when I breathe in.  So when I saw my doctor, I told him that one of my kids is currently in ward due to mycoplasma pneumonia.

Today is my 3rd day with presumed Mycoplasma infection... looking at the way I "progress" i.e. negligible improvement, maybe I shouldn't call it presumed anymore. Appetite-wise, I don't seem to get hungry, don't know why... although I still do eat. Yes, with this particular bacteria, recovery is expected to be longer  In the meantime, I think I'm heading back to the clinic when I'm free later.

Conclusion
I used to think it will be better to cut-short the number of hours that Alvin spends in school.  So that he will get more rest, and cut down a bit of exposure to what he's still not able to cope well with. Like now, his pre-school is from 8 - 12, followed by day nursery until the evening.  The only hindering factor is that no one is able to pick him back in the noon.  I also realised that once he gets used to the back-home-by-noon routine, it will be difficult to go back to the earlier route.

Lastly... Don't succumb to hearsay or nasihat tak bertauliah.  Stick to what is only known to be right, or supported by facts.   This is not insinuating that being stubborn is good, but exception is justifiable under special circumstances.  In order to be tactful, just nod yes, but sit adamantly about the execution part.

The New Year Post: Lessons from the Past, My Simple Chinese New Year, and the Brothers

Without much hype, I left the job that I've been doing for more than 6 years.  Six years can be considered a quite a long time nowadays, but of course not in the context of my parents' work lives where loyalty service of more than 20 years was a norm.

New year, new job - My resolution, theoretically-speaking

A change of job does not necessarily have to stem from negative reasons, although boredom may fall under the negative category.  Between getting comfortable and continuous professional challenge, it's crucial for both to be balanced.

Today marks my second week of work at a new place away from KL.  It's a mixture of familiarity as well as strange feelings. A long way lies ahead for me to learn before I can call it "mission accomplished".

My mission is very simple, yet not necessarily easy to attain - I would like to be better-rounded; not just being a parent to A & A, but at the same time, a balance between work and personal commitments equally.  Also to always try not to let personal challenges, if any, distract me from delivering.

Being an ordinary person means my life comprises ups and downs, and hence some moments of imperfection, although they're only minor ones, thankfully.  The 5 months of being away from work in 2014 due to a long stay at HUKM (a case of cervical incompetence and thus a high risk of recurrent premature delivery if not careful), and maternity leave thereafter, came at a cost as I seemed a little lost upon my return to work after that.

The awaited moment when someone opens his mouth
Alvin is coming to 4 years old this May.  One of the biggest gifts of the early months of 2016 that I am most grateful for is to hear Alvin talk meaningfully for the first time at the age of 3+.  We used to worry a lot about this issue - despite having normal hearing, he was still not verbal as at December 2015.

Although his pronunciation isn't 100% perfect, at least it provides answer our anxiety as to whether he will talk or not one day.  He speaks mostly Mandarin, with a mixture of English.

I don't know if it's speech therapy or pre-school that made Alvin open his mouth to talk, maybe it's a combination of both.

However, also as in the case of me, Alvin has a long way ahead for improvements, although for different aspects. Certain parts of his behaviour still needs improvement - he has a highly fiery temper (not appropriate for his age!) when his wishes aren't fulfilled.  For instance, his unfulfilled requests for not-so-good stuff such as tidbits, which severely affects his appetite for proper meals.

From where did he learn about the yummy taste of tidbits, I do not know as I don't take/buy snacks. Maybe it's through sampling the food of others, which in reality is not anyone's fault, because folks normally mean well when they offer tidbits to young children.

The only prudent thing to do is to make Alvin realise what's good and what's not as he grows up, which is easier said than done.

The brother
As for Alvin's brother, Aaron, he's small and may be mistaken for a 1 year plus baby when in fact he's a toddler closer to 2 years, unless you see his mouthful of huge teeth. Poor Aaron frequently get pushed or knocked head-to-head by Alvin when they fight, which is not unusual due to their close age gap.  How to make Alvin understand "sayang adik"?  Aaron enjoys climbing, eating, playing with blocks and flipping through photo albums - a different personality from his brother although they look similar.

The Chinese New Year
As I am still new in my present employment, I am not allocated with annual leave this month. No problem, I'm ok with that.

I celebrated the new year modestly at home in Seri Kembangan.  I've been away from home long enough, hence homesickness is no longer an issue although at all times, I still regard the various authentic food of Ipoh (my place of birth) and Taiping (my mother's hometown) as the best.

Unlike the previous years, I did not get to go back to Ipoh to visit my relatives due to limited time factor this new year. Maybe I will go there some other days when I have the chance to do so.

Conclusion
There are still many rooms for self-improvement, and that will be my biggest challenge this year.
Any shortcoming committed once or twice may be forgiven, be will surely become my nightmare if they persist - you will know what I mean without further elaboration here!