"Have you (no)...when (now)... and where (don't know)". The Primary School Dilemma

Alvin will be five this year.  Months before the application for Primary 1 was opened, I've received a number of reminders from family members like "Have you seen if registration has started", "Are you going for xxx school" and "Don't take too long!".  I totally understand their concern, as nowadays, applications for primary school are to be done online during the year when the child turns 5, i.e. 2 years before the child starts Primary 1.

The page on the Ministry of Education's website for registration of Primary 1 pupils, 2018 and 2019 intakes. 

Information that need to be filled in
For first time users, it will be necessary to register for a username (your MyKAD number) and password.

When using the system for the first time, you will need to start by typing the MyKID number of the child who will be registered for Primary 1.  Almost all of his or her data will be instantly displayed, like birth certificate number and address.

A tip for parents/guardians who want to register their children: Apart from MyKID (for anyone who doesn't memorise his or her children's MyKID number) it's best to also have your children's Immunisation Book (or Buku Rekod Kesihatan Kanak-Kanak) with you when filling in the online form because there is a part that requests for the dates of all immunisations taken.  Also, please ensure that you have the MyKAD numbers of the main two caretakers, e.g. both parents or others, ready.

Five years down the line
I am not sure how other parents feel when their children are finally old enough to be enrolled for formal education - are they happy, excited and so on?

While I am grateful that Alvin has gone a long way from being a 1.16 kg preterm baby to a preschooler today, there are uncertainties as to how well he will be able to cope with large classroom + numerous subjects + banyak homework... all the things that SJKC pupils go through.

Why be concerned, and why SJKC?
If it's a child whose milestones and behaviours are just like the typical majority, I wouldn't be as concerned.  As discussed in an earlier post, I do not care so much about the type of school that a child enrols into, and am open to the idea of putting my children in a school that uses a different medium of instruction from mine in the past.

Why a particular SJKC?  Distance-wise, it's the nearest from home and hence not to worry about transportation. While I am open to the idea, I am not sure if it will be the best for Alvin.  Hmm... I don't have much say in this matter because among everyone at home with my family-in-law, I am the only one who is not Chinese-educated, and I am quite afraid to introduce an alien idea that may cause discomfort to others, unless it genuinely cannot be helped.

What are the challenges?  These are foreseen when it involves a child whose development in language is not the same as the majority, which is not just language delay and late-talking. Right now, I still do not know if Alvin will be able to catch up 3 languages in SJKC, a challenge not only to anyone with language problem, but also many other children.

The readiness factor: Is Alvin ready to write, write and write?  It's imminent when you study Chinese because practise is the only way to master writing Chinese words. Apart from that, Chinese schools also place great emphasis on practice/homework in other subjects esp. mathematics.

What about SK?  Family factor aside, one main concern is the fact that Alvin has no exposure in Malay language right now, and I do not know the best method to get him to intensively pick up Malay without stressing him up.  I don't want him to lose interest in school solely because of communication barrier in SK.

Today isn't like yesterday:  Although I survived SK not knowing how to speak Malay in the beginning, the phenomena may differ now.  For e.g. Primary 1 stuff today look like Primary 3 stuff to me, and I wonder whether children nowadays are indeed so advanced compared to us in the past?

BM question for Primary 6 that went viral on social media last year.  BM papers for UPSR in the 90s were nowhere near to this level, gone are the days when they only comprised "Soalan-soalan Objektif" for "Pamahaman" and a written paper for "Penulisan".  

Languages of survival: In Malaysia, knowing only the Chinese language is not sufficient to live independently. We need to master Malay (a lot, like in secondary school where all subjects are taught in Malay, and when having government-related transactions), and then English. The only hope now is to see if Alvin will progressively outgrow his current obstacle later on with the help of speech therapy now.

Keep an open mind:  In any event, if there's a need to change school later on, we can still do it despite having enrolled into a school now.  Let's get some expert's advice later and k.i.v. for a Plan B or C.

An eye-opening evening
Staying in a Chinese majority area, 99.99% of pupils from Alvin's kindergarten enrol in SJKC. Naturally, his kindergarten starts preparing its pupils for it.

Although the number of homework is very little - mostly writing alphabets and easy Chinese characters on dotted lines, and can be completed in 10 minutes with guidance (but smarter ones don't need any guidance), homework is still homework, and this is where parental role comes into play.

Five minutes on, Alvin got bored.  No problem, let's play some songs and continue when we're both happy. Unfortunately, halfway through, I was caught surprised by the knock on the door of the homework-cum-sleep room.   Oops, it's Alvin's grandmother, my mom-in-law... "He got no homework is it?".  "Yes, he had, we did for 10 minutes and I decided to stop because he's done enough".  Got 10 minutes eh?  :p  

Are folks at home shocked by this easygoing approach?  As I did not have homework from Primary 1 to 3, it didn't come naturally to me to check the Alvin's books everyday because I didn't expect any homework.  Wah...  if Alvin really goes to a Chinese national-type school, then I must change and be more interested in homework.

Folks may or may not agree with me on this - while I agree to some extend that it's good to groom children to be responsible with their academics from young so that it becomes a habit, I still am not keen to take it too heavily at his present age.

Conclusion
Alvin's application for primary school is almost done, except for a few boxes I couldn't fill in. Fingers-crossed, I don't know what to expect after this.

All I want is a school that's convenient in terms of transportation and location, one that is suitable for Alvin to learn, with teachers who are compassionate enough to understand his current shortcomings that we're working on to improve.  Alvin Boleh!!

National School vs. National-Type Chinese School + My School Experience

As the children grow older, one of the frequently-asked-questions (FAQ) from surrounding folks was "Which school are you going to enroll your child in?".

Introduction

As salaryman and salarywoman i.e. folks who work for employers, our long-term viable options thus do not include private and international schools.  Instead, it's either going to be a fully-government school or a government-funded school.

My husband and I are from a different educational background, although both of us sat for the SPM examination in the final year of our secondary school (or high school).  He started his education at a national-type Chinese school, or SJK(C), while I started my primary education at a missionary-owned school that receives partial government-funding, but is otherwise known as national school, or Sekolah Kebangsaan (SK).

Fast forward to the present

From my observation when I happen to walk or drive past primary schools nowadays, at least the ones near my place, I see an obvious racial segregation among the schools.  

(1) SJK(C) - Predominantly Chinese pupils, with a small number of Malay and Indian pupils.

(2) SK - Predominantly Malay pupils, with a small number of Indian pupils.  I did not see any Chinese pupil.

Is it true that the ones from my generation are really gone?  What are the factors that lead to the current trend in relation to the type of school vs. racial background?

This or that, which is better?

Despite various debates as to the pros and cons of each type of school, upon gathering as much as input possible, I still do not know which is better - SJK(C) or SK?  

Although I've heard an equal number of good and not-so-good stories about SJK(C),  it's certainly unfair for me to make any comments for I have never been there myself.  Among the main comments that I've heard from various folks are high amount of homework and high level of stress.  But who am I to judge if the pressure exerted in school, if it's true, is really unbearable?

The Chinese school dilemma

There have been a number of successful people whose alma mater are SJK(C).  But at the same time, there are some who did not get through SPM  due to problems with Bahasa Malaysia, which is the medium of instruction for all national secondary schools and is a compulsory SPM subject to pass.   Therefore it's highly-subjective, what works well for one may not work for another.

My early experience as a "murid sekolah kebangsaan"

For SK, here's sharing some personal experience on the early days of my life as a pupil of SK back in the 90's.  I'll share not only the language aspect, but also all things related to the ups and downs that I went through in Primary 1.

(1) Prior to beginning my formal education, as a child, I could understand a bit of Malay language (Bahasa Malaysia or BM).  I can faintly recall having mingled with a few Malay girls slightly older than me who lived near my mother's work quarters at Kg. Sg. Terap, Batu Gajah for 5 years.  By the time I was 6, I've moved to another area.  However, as I've never really spoke BM prior to starting school, my command of BM then was only limited to listening and not speaking.  

(2) Back in the 90's, there's a good mix of pupils of all racial backgrounds at my school.  That's the true Malaysia - diversity!  There's also where we learnt about each other's cultures from a young age.

(3) One of the first things taught by my good form teacher Puan Nor Aini was how to seek the teacher's permission to go to the toilet.

(4) We spent almost the entire year polishing our alphabets and suku kata, which is the foundation to read and spell in BM.

(5) English was taught beginning from the second semester of Primary 1.

(6) Primary 1 back then comprised a light blend of subjects - BM, English, Mathematics, Music and Physical Education.  And Islamic Education for Muslim pupils and Moral Education for non-Muslim pupils.  The aim was to create a strong foundation before moving to higher levels.  It's a drastic contrast from schools nowadays where pupils are loaded with heavy-going content of subjects right from primary 1.

(7) Language and Self-Defence: During the early months, apart from what's taught by my teachers, I could not speak more.  The down side was being unable to defend myself in certain situations.  The following is not a grudge statement, but purely to share a true experience.

My mom used to stock my pencil case full of pencils for fear that I wouldn't have enough to use in class.  A classmate who sat near me lost a few of her pencils, that also happened to be the same brand as mine... during the heydays of the red-bodied Staedtler Atlas HB pencils.  

When being asked by my teacher whether I had taken my classmate's pencils, I said "tak ada" (no) but could not explain the reason I had so many was because my mom had packed that amount for me to school.  

Unfortunately, with my silence + circumstantial evidence i.e. I was having so many pencils while my classmate's were lost, I was wrongfully-scolded for taking things that didn't belong to me.

(8) The reasons my parents chose to put me in Sekolah Kebangsaan:

-  Both of them came from English schools and thus SK sounded less strange to them compared to SJK(C).

- My dad feared if I could not catch up in BM and English if I go to SJK(C), and the consequences that follow.

- My mom had an initial idea of putting me in SJK(C) because she understood the challenges of being a non-Chinese-reading Chinese and did not want me to go through the same.  But she gave up the idea later upon considering my dad's view.

- My parents also had concerns of them not being able to teach me how to do my homework in Chinese.  But it turned out that I've never sought their help for homework anyway.

The good 6 years in SK and my limitations

If you were to ask me whether I think my parents had made a right choice by enrolling me in SK, or if I regret their choices, well, here goes:

(1) I'm grateful for the good guidance and care provided by all my teachers from Primary 1 to 6.  

(2) Although my primary school teachers were predominantly Malays, I had neither been discriminated against nor received unfair treatment.

(3) SK is a good place to learn BM due to the vast opportunity to speak in the language.

(4) When it comes to work life, I'm thankful that with my school background, I feel comfortable working in places where the majority of my colleagues are Malays.  Likewise in friendship.

(5) Incidentally, despite the above, most of my Chinese friends from SJK(C) are alright as well.  For instance, my housemates and a few of my Mandarin-speaking classmates at Sedaya (now called UCSI) had been very understanding when I could not speak Mandarin  to them in the beginning.  Thanks to being with them for a year, plus a few more years with some friends from China, I managed to learn sufficient Mandarin to speak it almost daily nowadays.

(6) But I have a limit in relation to what I can read.  I heard that Chinese newspapers have lots of juicy news and articles, and wish I can read them too.

(7) I noticed that many SJK(C) pupils are very good at mathematics.  Although I do not know exactly why, I suspect it's due to the high amount of homework, something akin to practice makes perfect.  Anyway, being not a very studious person, I don't think I would have made a good SJK(C) pupil because I actually dislike homework.

Conclusion

SJK(C) vs. SK, both have their respective pros and cons.  It's also not easy to ascertain whether a child will be better off in which type of school.

As for Alvin, it's still a long way before I know for sure what school is suitable for him.  A recap:

As a former very premature baby, Alvin is physically alright on the whole.  However, he is at higher risks of developmental delays and other disorders compared to his peers who were born at the right time.  Despite his intelligence in some areas, he has delays in language (started to talk at the age of 4 this year - prior to this he was silent, with some mistakes between "you" and "I") and fine motor (task requires the usage of pencil is still a challenge for him).

What if?

If Alvin were to go to SJK(C) like 99.9% of his peers from his kindergarten, will he be on par in terms of language before Primary 1 so that he can cope with learning multiple languages simultaneously, especially without significantly jeopardising BM?  Unless one is prepared to migrate, the national language is undeniably crucial.  Walk into any government department, e.g. to renew an IC or to get treatment at a government hospital, knowledge of BM is very important to get around in Malaysia.  

In terms of fine motor delay, just in case if improvement is not up to the desired level, imagine the nightmare of having many pages of Chinese-writing homework on a daily basis. This is because repeated writing is the only way to learn how to write Chinese words.  Dr. Raja once mentioned that at the moment, SJK(C) may be a bit overwhelming for Alvin due to the amount of subjects and homework.

If Alvin were to go to SK...  Although you may tell me that he's my child and therefore I shouldn't be bothered so much by others' opinion, I also do not want to be conveniently blamed for depriving my child of a chance to learn Chinese language properly, or for any unforeseen problem that Alvin may face in SK.

Just like how my parents found themselves more comfortable with SK due to their own background, I believe my husband and my parents-in-law will be more comfortable with SJK(C) because they've been there and hence they know what to expect. 

Apart from a few words learnt from kindergarten such as "nasi", "telur", "hujan", etc,  If Alvin were to attend SK, his command of BM will be considered very low compared to the majority in class who are expected to be native speakers.  And recalling my unpleasant experience of being a defenseless primary 1 pupil, I won't be surprised if Alvin will go through it.  As trivia as it may look, it was a huge heartache for me as a child back then.

The wishlist

Sometimes I wish I have, say 6 months of exclusive break where I can teach Alvin basic BM before school-going age.  To brush up his alphabets, suku kata and important vocabulary just like what I was taught in school.  So that just in case if Alvin is indeed better-suited for SK, he will not be badly-behind and suffer from not being able to speak up.

But if Alvin somehow gets through all his current challenges, I won't have any reservation about him attending SJK(C) although I may at first wonder what's it like.

How do other parents balance between themselves and their children's school and leisure?  I also wonder what are the important criteria that parents take into account in deciding what school to send their children to.

Back Home... In Ipoh

On day 1 of the Hari Raya public holiday, we made a trip to Ipoh... a place called my hometown because there's where I was born.

But apart from being my place of birth and where my former family home was in, I'm otherwise pretty estranged from this city of delicacies, as I spent my entire life-in-school-and-beyond outside Ipoh, and hence had minimal experience being an "Ipoh girl".

Memories of my mom's humble garden at my former home

Anyway, I'm happy that I still have family members living in Ipoh, namely my aunts and my cousin. So, whenever I happen to be there, I'll pay them a visit them.

After the demise of my paternal grandmother in 2011, gone are the days when family members of all ages and from various locations used to come over and gather for lunch on Chinese New Year.

How time flies!  It's been 5 years since I had a home in Ipoh.  During this trip, I saw a number new developments, mostly comprising hotels, luxurious residences and some shopping malls... among them is AEON Station 18 which is ten minutes away from my former home by car.

My former home with new occupants today

Apart from all that, Ipoh appears largely the same as before, as I'm still able to get around without major hassles.

On a cloudy Wednesday evening...

Left: Ipoh Parade and Main Convent.

Right: Sam Tet School and the famous Tong Sui Kai (or dessert street, which opens at night) by the side, with new development called The Octagon (mixture of serviced apartment and retail outlets).

I felt a sense of proximity to my mother when I was Ipoh, because I spent a lot of my time with my mom in Ipoh after her retirement, and perhaps also because there's where her final resting place is.

On the positive side, fortunately Alvin did not suffer from car sickness this time, unlike last year. Both kids slept well and adapted generally fine as "Ipoh boys" throughout the stay.

If time permits and given a similar opportunity in the near future, I'd like to revisit more places in town, as well as meet up with more folks whom I've not met for very long in Ipoh, as well as in BG which is only 20 minutes away.  Let's look at the schedule and see how then.

Once in a blue moon & the over-protection myth

Seeing Red

I don't recall exactly when I last had conjunctivitis because I've not had it since secondary school.

But recently - last week, my left eye appeared red, but was neither itchy nor painful.  How innocent I was for thinking “nah, it must be just due to allergy” just because I was sneezing nocturnally for a few days.  Prior to this, Aaron and my husband were down with conjunctivitis for about a week.

To further aggravate troubles, I innocently put on contact lenses as if I was alright (I use them on weekdays for convenience and practicality and vanity reasons, but since my eyesight is not too bad, I go without glasses when I’m indoor e.g. at home and not in need of clear distance vision).  Vanity must be so intoxicating that it took away my common sense to realise the risk - so what if I've washed my hands?

By the time I started taking medical leave, both my eyes looked red and the left eye appeared worse than the right eye, as in being more painful, more swollen, and more watery.  The lymph node around the left hand side of my jaw was also swollen and painful - so it's clearly infection.

"One big one small"

Today is the 6^th day I’m having red eyes.  But unfortunately, it looks as if I’ll be forced to be away from work for the whole of this week.   

The usual case once you start school

As if “sudah jatuh ditimpa tangga”, as much as I wanted to stay at home without going out to public places with red eyes, I was nevertheless forced to go out today when Alvin is sick again.  Generally, it’s the usual sickness that affects many school-going children.  But then, it's chest infection again, oh no! 

When entering Dr Hew’s room at Columbia Asia Hospital Cheras this morning with Alvin and my husband, the first question from him was about my eyes, followed by about Alvin.  I feel very bad going out with red eyes – mainly because conjunctivitis is very infectious and painful, and secondly because of embarrassment.

Speaking of schooling and catching illnesses, while I am not concerned by the frequency of sickness, what bothers me is the “magnitude” of Alvin sickness due to his sensitive airways, highly likely due to the fact that he’s a very premature baby. 

Privy or not, it matters

But what disheartens me most are unsolicited (though well-intended) comments from parties who are not privy to Alvin’s case.  While I am grateful that Alvin has progressed generally well from the day he’s born as in not having major issues related to prematurity, he has a little extra path to walk through before he can be the same as most of his full-term-born counterparts.

For instance, he has some developmental delay in relation to language and fine motor.  Let's take a simple example, he only starts to speak now at the age of 4 and may not be able to answer a question like “Where is Ken Ken?” without giving you a blur-blur expression.   That’s generally the diagnosis of developmental paediatrician Dr Raja.

Back to unsolicited comments, I frequently received remarks like “I don’t understand why you don’t send your son to nursery earlier, so that’s why he’s still not talking at 3”…. Or “Of course he’s late, because you're stubborn”.  

The reasonable man test

Given a choice, do you prefer to let your child have an early start, or do you prefer to overprotect your child at the expense of his development?

The word “over-protection” is a taboo to me.  Given a choice, I wouldn’t mind Alvin starting school earlier than 4 years although it's not necessary to hurry.  But let’s take a look at his state of readiness first before divulging further.

The fact that a 4 year old child can have chest infection i.e. pneumonia twice within a period of 4 months which also coincides with upon entering pre-school, should be stark enough to spark a concern.  So imagine if he’s only 2 and if he were to battle all the infections within his nursery – can anyone imagine what sort of stuff he’ll go through?  If it’s a typical full-term baby, then of course the story may differ.  

Moral of the story, which I also frequently remind myself is that I’ll never make comments or speculations about how people raise their children.  In most cases, parents have solid reasons when they depart from the norm in certain matters.  Unless the full story is known, please refrain from comments on why is so and so doing this and that. 

Ahh… in any event, I am relieved that at this stage, Alvin does not have to be hospitalised yet... but don't know about later.  With an active conjunctivitis, rooming-in with Alvin in the ward will be one of the worst nightmares around, regardless of which hospital.  

Conclusion

Sometimes, I am curious to know what others at home think whenever Alvin falls terribly sick, although the logical side of me would think – why care about what others think as long as you’ve not done anything wrong?  Well, that's easier said than done.  And beneath my ice-cold appearance, I am flooded with lots of guilt and even self-anger.

What’s just a cough to other children may be more than just a cough for Alvin.  Sometimes too, I blame myself for bringing pain not only to Alvin, but also to the rest of the good family when they get distressed seeing a young child cough, cough and cough, as in last night from 1.00 am to 6.00 am, a few times in every 10 minutes, and had absolutely no appetite for the past 3 days.  

Call me silly and lousy, I regret the very premature delivery of Alvin although there was nothing that I could have done to prevent it back then because it was my first time and thus, I did not know that I’m having a defect called cervical incompetence.

On my red eyes, I wonder when will normalcy resume?  On another note, I am wondering too if I can have enough will-power to ditch my vanity for good as part of minimising risks towards my eyes in the future...

We're Sick! The Mycoplasma Attack :(

It all began with an innocent-looking cough and a mild fever on a Friday evening.  "Nothing unusual about it, as common infections are widespread at kindergartens and nurseries ", we thought to ourselves.

A twist of event leading to a twist of outcome

Due to a certain unfavourable reason that day and being obliging, we ended up at another clinic and not the clinic that we usually go to.  

Unfortunately, Alvin's cough became worse a day after.  Went back to the same clinic the 1 1/2 day later. This time, another dr attended to us (it's a partnership clinic).  Received a neb, followed by a change of antibiotic from cephalexin to amoxycillin. That night, Alvin's cough seemed a little relieved, but returned to its violent form by the next day.

In total, it's 4 days down the line, but Alvin's cough and fever still persisted.  The cough turned so bad that Alvin continued to wheeze even after nebulization, and when he coughed, it could run for 10 minutes straight in a row.  His sleep and appetite suffered - he refused all food, and drank very little.

Went back to the same clinic, the dr referred for admission on the same day.  

A little thought as to which hospital to go to came momentarily.  Cost vs convenience, familiarity vs uncertainty.  Finally, we decided to go to where we're already quite familiar with, which is also one of the nearest from where we are.

The process of admission
The emergency department at Columbia Asia Cheras on that Monday night (near 9 pm) was surprisingly crowded for its size.  The waiting time was considered ok, the medical officer on-duty (I didn't get his name) was quite prompt in attending to us. But the waiting time to go to the ward was long, it's past 1 am on the following day.

First, the dr checked Alvin's breathing. After that,  Alvin was given a neb, followed by chest x-ray and blood test.  It's typical of children to scream when blood is drawn, likewise Alvin. 

About an hour later, pediatrician Dr Hew came, checked and asked a few questions about Alvin.  He later proceeded with branula insertion because Alvin will need IV fluid (he wasn't eating and drinking properly) and IV antibiotic.  We've seen Dr Hew a few times before, starting with Aaron about 2 years ago when he was admitted for phototherapy, and for a few vaccinations after that.  Dr Hew is a very soft-spoken doctor and explains things in pretty great details. 

I wish but I couldn't
In most cases when a young child is warded, the mother is the one who'd stay to take care of her child.  I wish I could do it, but alas!  As I am currently in my first month of employment at a new place, I am generally not allocated with  leave.

But compassionate leave, which includes hospitalisation of family members, is available.  However, I don't feel good taking it although my superior is very understanding... unless for critical causes (touch wood, I pray that nothing as bad will happen in my life anymore after one incident back in 2011 at Ipoh GH, which unfortunately had a negative outcome and I ended up utilizing my compassionate leave).

On weekdays, my mother-in-law helps out by staying with Alvin in ward every night, while my husband and my father-in-law accompany Alvin during from noon until the evening.  I only get to see Alvin after finishing work, and room-in during the weekend. 

The culprit, and oh no wonder
Yesterday was a bit fortunate as Dr Hew was around when I went to see Alvin in the late evening. Dr Hew explained a few things, inter alia that blood test shows Alvin is infected by the bacteria called Mycoplasma, or specifically Mycoplasma pneumoniae.  Oh, that's why the antibiotics he took a few days earlier from the clinic did not work at all! 

Alvin's present treatment comprises 4-hourly neb, oral medications for fever and cough, IV Zithromax and chest physio.  Hospitalisation may take between 5 to 7 days, depending on his recovery.  As of yesterday (Day 3 in ward?), he still coughed a lot, although with slightly improved appetite.  :(

Maybe Alvin is going to miss school for 2 weeks.  OMG, this is only the 2nd month in pre-school and he's already like this, I can't imagine how's it going to be like for one whole year.  I like the fact that pre-school helped him a lot in terms of development, like learning to talk and be more independent.  Yet I can't deny how fearful I am if similar illnesses were to recur, because what is ordinary URTI to many other kids, may not be the same for him.  It's likely because very preterm babies are physically not exactly the same as their full-term counterparts.

We too, are invaded by it
As M. pneumoniae easily spreads through cough droplets, it is thus very difficult to avoid getting infected especially when living within the same house and same room.

Aaron is sick now, although not to Alvin's extent (fingers-crossed).

Likewise, I couldn't escape either.  I had a fever (high, at 39 deg C) starting from Wednesday. My chest feels slightly tight when I breathe in.  So when I saw my doctor, I told him that one of my kids is currently in ward due to mycoplasma pneumonia.

Today is my 3rd day with presumed Mycoplasma infection... looking at the way I "progress" i.e. negligible improvement, maybe I shouldn't call it presumed anymore. Appetite-wise, I don't seem to get hungry, don't know why... although I still do eat. Yes, with this particular bacteria, recovery is expected to be longer  In the meantime, I think I'm heading back to the clinic when I'm free later.

Conclusion
I used to think it will be better to cut-short the number of hours that Alvin spends in school.  So that he will get more rest, and cut down a bit of exposure to what he's still not able to cope well with. Like now, his pre-school is from 8 - 12, followed by day nursery until the evening.  The only hindering factor is that no one is able to pick him back in the noon.  I also realised that once he gets used to the back-home-by-noon routine, it will be difficult to go back to the earlier route.

Lastly... Don't succumb to hearsay or nasihat tak bertauliah.  Stick to what is only known to be right, or supported by facts.   This is not insinuating that being stubborn is good, but exception is justifiable under special circumstances.  In order to be tactful, just nod yes, but sit adamantly about the execution part.

The New Year Post: Lessons from the Past, My Simple Chinese New Year, and the Brothers

Without much hype, I left the job that I've been doing for more than 6 years.  Six years can be considered a quite a long time nowadays, but of course not in the context of my parents' work lives where loyalty service of more than 20 years was a norm.

New year, new job - My resolution, theoretically-speaking

A change of job does not necessarily have to stem from negative reasons, although boredom may fall under the negative category.  Between getting comfortable and continuous professional challenge, it's crucial for both to be balanced.

Today marks my second week of work at a new place away from KL.  It's a mixture of familiarity as well as strange feelings. A long way lies ahead for me to learn before I can call it "mission accomplished".

My mission is very simple, yet not necessarily easy to attain - I would like to be better-rounded; not just being a parent to A & A, but at the same time, a balance between work and personal commitments equally.  Also to always try not to let personal challenges, if any, distract me from delivering.

Being an ordinary person means my life comprises ups and downs, and hence some moments of imperfection, although they're only minor ones, thankfully.  The 5 months of being away from work in 2014 due to a long stay at HUKM (a case of cervical incompetence and thus a high risk of recurrent premature delivery if not careful), and maternity leave thereafter, came at a cost as I seemed a little lost upon my return to work after that.

The awaited moment when someone opens his mouth
Alvin is coming to 4 years old this May.  One of the biggest gifts of the early months of 2016 that I am most grateful for is to hear Alvin talk meaningfully for the first time at the age of 3+.  We used to worry a lot about this issue - despite having normal hearing, he was still not verbal as at December 2015.

Although his pronunciation isn't 100% perfect, at least it provides answer our anxiety as to whether he will talk or not one day.  He speaks mostly Mandarin, with a mixture of English.

I don't know if it's speech therapy or pre-school that made Alvin open his mouth to talk, maybe it's a combination of both.

However, also as in the case of me, Alvin has a long way ahead for improvements, although for different aspects. Certain parts of his behaviour still needs improvement - he has a highly fiery temper (not appropriate for his age!) when his wishes aren't fulfilled.  For instance, his unfulfilled requests for not-so-good stuff such as tidbits, which severely affects his appetite for proper meals.

From where did he learn about the yummy taste of tidbits, I do not know as I don't take/buy snacks. Maybe it's through sampling the food of others, which in reality is not anyone's fault, because folks normally mean well when they offer tidbits to young children.

The only prudent thing to do is to make Alvin realise what's good and what's not as he grows up, which is easier said than done.

The brother
As for Alvin's brother, Aaron, he's small and may be mistaken for a 1 year plus baby when in fact he's a toddler closer to 2 years, unless you see his mouthful of huge teeth. Poor Aaron frequently get pushed or knocked head-to-head by Alvin when they fight, which is not unusual due to their close age gap.  How to make Alvin understand "sayang adik"?  Aaron enjoys climbing, eating, playing with blocks and flipping through photo albums - a different personality from his brother although they look similar.

The Chinese New Year
As I am still new in my present employment, I am not allocated with annual leave this month. No problem, I'm ok with that.

I celebrated the new year modestly at home in Seri Kembangan.  I've been away from home long enough, hence homesickness is no longer an issue although at all times, I still regard the various authentic food of Ipoh (my place of birth) and Taiping (my mother's hometown) as the best.

Unlike the previous years, I did not get to go back to Ipoh to visit my relatives due to limited time factor this new year. Maybe I will go there some other days when I have the chance to do so.

Conclusion
There are still many rooms for self-improvement, and that will be my biggest challenge this year.
Any shortcoming committed once or twice may be forgiven, be will surely become my nightmare if they persist - you will know what I mean without further elaboration here!

   

Year of the Goat. Happy New Year.

Today is the last day of the Chinese New Year celebration, popularly known as chap goh meh which stands for 15th night in Hokkien.  Happy New Year of the Goat...

(1) What lies ahead for the festive season
Prior to the long break as CNY fell on a Thursday and Friday this year, among the FAQs received were "When will you be on leave?", "Only 2 days, such a short break, is that enough?", "Where's your hometown and when are you going back?", etc.

(a) Flashback to a year ago...
As any other ordinary person, I can only plan.  But what ultimately transpires is sometimes beyond contemplation.  Last year for instance, it was totally outside my imagination that I was to spend most of the CNY "celebration" at HUKM.  Ended up spending my entire third trimester at ward 2B for 2 months, which felt a lot like living in a dormitory, with shared bathrooms, makan ramai-ramai, the purple uniform, and a fixed daily routine.

Anyway, despite the dread and boredom at first, it was overall a pleasant experience after getting to know some new friends.   Lots of time to rest and sleep, but couldn't help missing the little guy at home.  While others enjoy yee sang and an array of festive dishes out there, I was only confined to bland hospital food.

It was the 9th day of CNY when threatened preterm labour occured (also at 29 weeks) and I was transferred to the HDU for tocolysis before undergoing the emergency cerclage.  Thankfully everything turned out well and Ken-ken did not come out during the CNY period.  "Be patient baby... the angpows can wait until next year..." I thought. 

(b) Cuti-cuti New Year
I only took a day off on CNY eve and another a day off post-CNY weekend.  After skipping Ipoh last year, we went there on the 3rd day this year to the home of my cousins+aunts in Bercham.

Scene along the PLUS highway.  

(This is an old picture taken a few years earlier... not during the recent trip)

Alvin was in a rebellious mood.  The rebellion was probably further aggravated by a previously-unknown fact that he's car sick, as he had never puked in car prior to this.  Puking can be traumatising to a young child, and worse when it occurs in a strange place.

Speaking of Alvin and some of his behavorial/sensory issues...  It's NOT TRUE that Alvin's rebellion is due to seldom going out, as what a few concerned relatives said to my parents-in-laws.  He was seldom exposed to crowds before he turned one due to low immunity as a very preterm baby... but after that, he started going out, unless he's having flu or something like that.  I swear that he had been to more places than me at the age of 1+ compared to when I was 5 (i.e. visits to local attractions, not overseas). But then this is my fear... how to bring him to people's house without his  resistence?  Tak bawak kang unfair to him...

Maybe this is related to prematurity as very preterm babies are born with immature brains.  Or maybe it's not.  If by God's will, things works out successfully, I shall try to share them here for the benefit of those under the same shoe.   Issues may not end upon discharge from the NICU, no matter how positive things appear to be at first.  The longer your baby stays inside your womb, the better it is... even by a week.  I don't know whether to be happy or otherwise, but I have probably been chosen to walk a path that differs from the majority... and parenting an ex-prem baby may or may not be the same as for other children.

Despite being a brief, simple and impromptu one, the one-day trip to Ipoh was memorable indeed.  From meeting up with family members whom I've not seen for a long time to passing through places that was once a part of me, I cherished them a lot despite already not feeling well a few days earlier... oh my sorethroat!

(2) The voiceless CNY
On 1st day of CNY, swallowing felt painful to me.  Body temperature was up at 38 deg C by evening.  All clinics around my place, including non-Chinese doctors, were closed for public holiday.  The only safe home remedy available?  PCM and Difflam lozenges.  Tahanlah dulu....

The same thing persisted on the following few days, coupled with cough later on.  I lost my voice completely on Sunday (Day 4), a day after the visit to Ipoh.

On Day 5, when the panel clinic resumed operation, I went to see my regular dr.  I had no voice at all, thus wrote everything on a piece of paper and showed it to the dr.  Fever was still on after so many days... although just very mild.  A medical leave of 2 days after the CNY break was a lil against conscience, as if taking advantage to sambung cuti.  But, commit no fault and hence fear nothing...

Remaining silent, especially when in front of the kids was very odd esp when they are too young to understand why you're suddenly all-quiet with them.  Then they'd frown in front of you, as if wondering why, when they hear your strange voice.

(3) Conclusion
Today, on the 15th day of CNY, my voice still has not fully-recovered although improvement is starting to be more visible now.   :p

Fortunately the voice came back early this week or else I might have to miss the sponsored CNY luncheon again at my workplace.   It's very thoughtful of the management to organise such an event for its (minority) Chinese employees, so how could I have the heart to skip it... unless I genuinely couldn't be present, as in last year?

Of Virus, Scary Event, and "Kena Sound"

Bug-infested… then another “B” in picture

“It” all started with the little one getting infected from family members who caught the flu earlier.  

Picture credit: http://www.dreamstime.com/royalty-free-stock-photos-virus-cartoon-angry-cute-funny-image2909418

Speaking of flu, I find the influenza vaccine pretty good in reducing the incidences of catching flu although it’s not perfect (no, it isn’t…).  This is based on personal experience of having gone for the vaccine for the past few years.

Another scare halfway through

Anyway, back to "it"...  Perhaps I exerted myself too much when I tried comforting but forcing a child who strongly resisted to treatment when unwell (Alvin is very strong-willed in certain aspects, and “no” always means “no” once he has made up his mind that way).  

Picture credit: http://www.clipartsfree.net/clipart/550-blood-drop-clipart.html

 

A child who was unwell isn’t the reason why I was suddenly forced onto a week-long medical leave, but perhaps I worked too hard at home until I forgot about the other child.  The sudden presence of “Miss B***d” warrants enough concern and fear, especially when one is already in the 2^nd trimester.  

The reason behind this occasion of PV bleeding isn’t clear.  Fetus appears to grow in line with gestational age.  Cervix is closed and its length looked normal.  There isn’t infection too.  But why?  

The Plan and my reaction

Instead of the initial plan of taking Duphaston until the 20^th week of pregnancy, Prof has decided that I should continue for a bit longer. And the most dreadful piece of news? KIV for bed rest from Weeks xx – xx later on.  Gulp!!!!!!!!!  

That’s as good as already on maternity leave even before maternity.  A mish-mash of things came into picture.  Will the pregnancy even last for so long?  With all the sacrifices made, what if premature delivery still occurs?  If it occurs, what if we run out of luck and no longer escape from the dangers of prematurity like previously?  Poor Alvin-vin (yeah, I call him that sometimes) because bed rest means cutting down a lot of time with him… as if what I’m currently doing is already considered a lot when it's not.

Digressing….

Congrats to them.  

A cousin (and cousin-sister-in-law) of my husband just welcomed their first bundle of joy about 2 weeks ago.   A  full-term healthy baby boy weighing 8 lbs (i.e. roughly 3.6 kg) born via C-section at Hospital Putrajaya.  

I did not get to visit the couple and their newborn baby of course.   Based on hearsay of my family members who visited, the newborn baby is currently on exclusive breastfeeding.   

But compare us not

Praises poured in with regard to the fact that the baby latches very well to his mom, and for being such an angel for sleeping soundly each time he’s done with feeding (as opposed to fussy Alvin).  

“Rice wine chicken” and lactation… ehm…

Unfortunately, I was pretty hurt when remarks were made about the baby’s mom lactating so abundantly thanks to the daily consumption of rice wine chicken (“黄酒鸡”), and words "that you should have done the same last time" were poured upon me.  

Picture credit: http://www.cooking-china.com/chinese-recipe/en/chicken/hakka-style_chicken_in_rice_wine.html

Whether a baby gets to exclusively breastfeed (i.e. without topping-up with any other milk) for a few days, a few weeks, a few months, or a few years, is not as straightforward as thought.  In fact, looking at a larger picture, one shouldn’t get too stressed if not having the opportunity to exclusively breastfeed for as long as wished, because things sometimes don't run according to plans.

There is no proof that wines are good or otherwise for post-natal mothers.  But no doubt it’s a Chinese tradition that’s been practiced for generations.  Logically, alcohol evaporates with heat... hence after the intensive simmering done to prepare rice wine chicken, the amount of alcohol left should be negligible.  However, I'm unable to confirm that as a fact.

At the end of the day, it’s a personal choice whether to consume rice wine chicken or other stuff like Benedict's DOM or Yomeishu.  It's a matter of whether you think it's good or otherwise.

Judge others not… but first judge ourselves

It’s “rezeki orang” that their baby sleeps soundly after every feeding.  Not fussy, quiet, easy to care for.  Although it would be "jauh panggang dari api" to compare their baby with Alvin, I nevertheless hope that the baby who in turn is my distant nephew, grows up healthily and remains a good boy that he is now.   

. 

Household Languages - Trend vs Reality.

Coming from multi-lingual background, one of the issues that came into my mind in relation to kids is our medium of communication.

Lately, I notice a trend among folks living in the township where I am presently based.  Originally a largely Hakka-speaking community, I am beginning to witness a fad of converting to Mandarin.  

Randomly-apparent

Just randomly go into any household comprising adults and kids, and you’re likely to come across adults speaking dialect among each other, but automatically switch to Mandarin when it comes to speaking to the kids.

In my humble view, it generally doesn’t really matter what medium of communication is adopted at home.  It’s a personal choice.  But I am sometimes a little shocked when I hear how Mandarin is spoken as if directly-translated from dialect, which will surely put a native speaker to wonder what’s being spoken.  

Far from being a non-Chinese language expert, I shall not comment on whether such is indeed a good move or otherwise.  I shall not try to look deep into the reasons for such “transformation”.  It is also not my aim to criticize anyone personally.  But let’s look at some instances frequently bumped into.

A frequent example

“There are plenty of things to play here”

In Cantonese: “ni dou yau tai pa ye wan” or “ni dou yau hou tuo ye wan”

In simple Mandarin: “zhe li you hen duo dong xi wan” - 这里有很多东西玩。

How Mandarin is abused at times:  “zhe li you da ba dong xi wan” - 这里有（大把?）东西玩。

Just like many people criticize that broken English begins at home when a kid is exposed to English spoken in a less-than-proper way right from young, likewise applies to Chinese, and in this case, Mandarin.

Prudence for a better tomorrow

Having said that although it doesn’t matter what language or dialect a kid is taught at home from young, I still view that at the end of the day, adults should be a little more prudent (and responsible) in ensuring that we speak a language or dialect properly to kids around us.  

Perhaps the idea of speaking Mandarin instead of dialect with kids at home was conceived with the idea of not wanting to "lose out" to others when it comes to entering Chinese vernacular schools.  Perhaps some parents or grandparents are anxious that their kids or grandkids aren’t able to communicate to their teachers when the latter enter primary one.

In view of the current trend, it is likely that in years to come (speaking of the township where I currently live in), dialects look set to wither away from our day-to-day lives.  Rather, dialects may end up being viewed as a medium of communication for the elderly.   Imagine a day when the local Hakka association conducts its event in Mandarin instead…  

Proviso to the general rule

Whether it’s Malay, English, Mandarin, Cantonese, Hakka, Hokkien, or any other dialects, it shouldn’t matter much provided as we speak the language or dialect properly.  

Conclusion

In conclusion, it’s crucial to bear in mind that whatever language spoken shouldn’t mean we’re less of that race or clan, for we’re all Malaysians.  No one should practice extremism when it comes to languages, for in our multi-cultural country, it is in fact important to be multi-lingual.  

As to what language I speak to Alvin… nah, let’s not discuss deep into that.  But I would say that right from day 1, I have decided not to speak Mandarin to him as Mandarin is best picked-up through education (that should be up to the child himself to decide but then are there really choices these days?).

Ideally, I would like my kid(s) to learn at least 3 languages (BM, English, and Chinese) with at least one dialect.   But oops… looks like I’ve gone over-ambitious when in fact Alvin hasn’t even started talking. 
  

Alvin oh Alvin… when will you talk?