More than 2 years down the line, I am still unsure if I’m
ready to gamble, or "don't care" once again. Sometimes I want more, but sometimes I don't.
Logic tells me that I am crazy to change my mind. However, my instinct tells otherwise, despite the apparent absence of logic.
A stroll at Taman Tasik Pandan Perdana a day after saying goodbye to Paragard
However, based on past experiences with all other stuff,
instinct had always been right compared to logic, despite appearing illogical and
even impractical! Logic
vs instinct - which one prevails?
If not for one obvious
reason (it's for the sake of A & A, with different reasons for both of them), there is otherwise no reason to change. Rightfully, I should have been more than contented
by now. But coming from very small
family, I have experienced some limitations being an only daughter with only one brother…
while childhood was smooth-sailing, adulthood is a little challenging at times
with only 2 of us i.e. we’re short-handed when certain matters require care.
Against my logic and uncertainties, sweet-sister-Paragard a.k.a. IUCD of 2 years was finally out. There’s no looking back, but to embrace whatever that comes, if there is any, or doesn’t come, if there isn't.
In any event, I have not forgotten that I am not as fortunate as
others who generally don’t require major interventions when it comes to carrying a pregnancy to term. Hence, it further
adds on to the need to carefully consider whether it's worth taking another risk.
In the end, God knows best.
It shouldn’t matter anymore whether there is anymore adik or not. Let’s allow nature to take place and don't ever put too much expectation on anything in order to avoid disappointment.
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