Baby #3: The Final Trimester Story

Fast forward into the third trimester, a few changes had recently occurred.

The brief return and decision

While I returned to work a week after cerclage, about 4 weeks later when I saw Prof Azurah during my antenatal check-up at the Level 1 O&G Clinic at PPUKM, she had advised me to be on medical leave until delivery.  Finally, after a thorough consideration between the pros and cons of working under the current circumstances, I have decided to be out of work for the time being in order to accommodate the need to rest post-cerclage. 

Goodbye workplace...

Moments of serenity and storm

The first 2 months post-cerclage had been smooth-sailing as far as cervical length was concerned.  

Storm awaiting beneath the serenity

However, during my last appointment at the clinic on 23/8/2017 when I was close to 29 weeks, my cervical length had suddenly decreased to less than 3 cm, with funnelling.  Oh gosh, that immediately decided that I shall spend the rest of the pregnancy with bed rest in the uncomfortable Trendelenburg position at former home sweet home Ward 2B and 2 doses of Dexamethasone injections to help speed up fetal lungs maturity just in case if touch wood, preterm labour occurs.

10, 3, 2, 1.....

Right now, I feel like a time bomb ticking away to deliver anytime… even when I’m just relaxing on the bed.  The fact that the doctors would ask me about any contraction, discomfort, leaking and bleeding each time they make their rounds, hints that I am highly at risk to deliver anytime.  

Although I feel heavy-hearted to be away from Alvin and Aaron for don’t-know-how-long, it’s better that I’m in ward now just in case of any emergency.  Otherwise, I cannot imagine how soon I can get to the hospital if the baby is suddenly going to make its way out.  With a cerclage inside, it’s even 

more dangerous.

Myth and fact

So it’s a myth that with an early elective cerclage, I can be spared from same episode of events that I once went through with Aaron. Nevertheless, what I am going through now is not totally unexpected when I changed my mind and decided to try to conceive for one more time.  

There’s a sole personal reason for trying for Baby #3, anyway let’s just keep it in the heart… Actually, I don’t mind adopting a child, but in reality, the chance of finding an infant available for adoption is even more remote than finding a needle in the haystack (note: with reference to non-Muslim child adoption). 

There's no why

I used to, and still do, wonder how am I born with cervical insufficiency? I've never had any operation done on that part of me that causes cervical insufficiency.  My mom delivered me a few days short of 37 weeks as she had PPROM at 36 weeks, and my brother at 38 weeks.  Other than GDM and hyperthyroidism, my mom had no other known issue with her pregnancy and delivery (the good thing about being a former staff midwife, my mom kept her antenatal record cards very well and they’re still around).  In any event, I won’t be able to know my family medical history fully because my mom was an adopted child and I’ve never met any of her biological family members.

As humans, we can only plan.  And to embrace whatever that comes with the decisions that we’ve made.

Prof Azurah told “I’ll be happy if you manage to hold on to at least 34 weeks”, and although I look forward to go home as soon as possible, deep inside, I feel that it’s my obligation to carry Baby #3 to at least the minimum target, or 36 weeks if things turn out alright (fingers-crossed).  37 weeks will be a miracle to me. 

Be strong..... 

(Source: Classic FM)

Despite access to a few books and internet, I do feel bored in the ward.  But I must stay strong for this last baby.  Between the baby spending a long time in the NICU and me having to stay in the ward for more than 1 month, the latter is better. 

Although the survival rate of preterm babies at 28 weeks and above nowadays is more than 90%, they nonetheless face higher risks for a list of health issues.  This explains why very preterm babies are required to attend multiple follow-up appointments at various departments after they’re discharged from hospital – to make sure that everything is fine, and to be referred for treatment or therapy if problem(s) are detected. 

Conclusion

Looking from a brighter side, I’d better take this opportunity now to rest and relax whenever I can before the baby comes out.  But at the same time, to take care not to stay upright for too long, even by sitting down and writing too much.  

I’m supposed to lie down as much as possible, something which wasn’t possible while I was on medical leave at home earlier, which is probably why I suddenly have funneling as the fetal weight increased.

From Arabin to Elective Cerclage: The 2nd experience

Here's an update on what transpired lately, from what's planned to what really occurred later on...

Part 1: The Arabin

As the Arabin insertion is non-surgical, it's therefore done in a procedure room instead of OT.  A pre-insertion TVS was performed to check the cervical length and to make sure there isn't any opening. A post-insertion TVS was done to ensure that the Arabin is properly in place.

As initially feared, and despite a repeated attempt, the Arabin pessary did not fit despite using one size smaller (the smallest available in stock at PPUKM).  Hence, the only option left was to have an elective cervical cerclage.

As for the Arabin which I'd purchased, it's been donated to the hospital instead of being brought home as souvenir since the latter will not serve any purpose.  Hopefully it will benefit someone in need and save a baby from being delivered too soon.

While waiting for Arabin insertion by Dr Rahana outside one of the rooms of Ward 1C

The Arabin pessary

Part 2: Elective cerclage

A day before the cerclage procedure at about 15 weeks ++, for once again, I had to check into Ward 2B.  The usual pre-op procedures such as branula insertion (received a green one… argh, painful), blood count, and review by doctor from the anaesthesia and intensive care department were all completed by the noon.

For unknown reasons, the caterer had missed out my lunch.  It was oh so frustrating as hunger and mood swing simply don’t get along.  At the same time, I did not fancy troubling the husband who had gone to work after sending and accompanying me to the ward earlier.  Domino’s Pizza delivery hence came into picture.  As normal appetite had slowly resumed, a pizza for just once in a blue moon should be alright.

Pizza for the Birthday Girl

D-Day

As the cervical cerclage would be done under spinal anaesthesia (i.e. half-body anaesthesia), I was required to fast for a certain number of hours before the procedure.  No food from 2 am onwards on 23/5, and no drinks from 6 am onwards.

Morning fasting

There wasn’t emergency cases at the OT that morning, so my cerclage this time – by Prof Azurah was done at about 10 am as scheduled.  Doing it on an elective basis this time, it was fast compared to previously when it was done on an emergency basis when Aaron almost followed Alvin’s path in arriving much too soon.

I felt alright throughout the procedure, except for a moment when I felt nauseous and as if passing out as my pulse rate suddenly dropped.  Dr Nabilah who administered my anaesthesia gave me an injection via the IV line, and I gradually felt normal again.

At the observation bay, I felt extremely sleepy under the cold blast of air-conditioner and probably slept for half an hour before I was taken back to the ward on bed, where I continued to sleep for a few more hours, with thick blanket covering my legs well into the hot afternoon.  Spinal anaesthesia could make me fall asleep very easily, although I was alert when called and could respond when people talked to me.

As this is the first time I was allowed to do things on my own upon gaining my sensation after the spinal anaesthesia (compared to previously when I remained on bed for the next 24 hours and hence wasn't really aware of what's going on because everything's taken care by the nurses), it's thus a new knowledge to me that there would be some spotting immediately after a cerclage.  The doctor who came and saw me assured me it's normal and should disappear within a few days.  I was discharged on the next day, following a Proluton (hydroxyprogesterone caproate) injection.  I was advised to rest and be sedentary at home, and advised to have a medical leave of 10 days. 

What's next

According to the plan, a Proluton injection of 250 mg shall be taken on a weekly basis until 34 weeks, that's if my body permits Baby No. 3 to remain inside for long enough - fingers-crossed. 

A weekly kiss

Apart from a weekly sting on the butt - oh gosh the Proluton suspension is quite thick, my antenatal check-up is expected to be at least every fortnightly for monitoring of cervical length, on top of the normal routine.  More than halfway through the journey now, there shall be no looking back, but to embrace everything that will come along the path, which includes taking that least expected path.  

The Beginning of Second Trimester and Ward 2B, PPUKM

Don't ask me why, for the sky is so high... After more than 3 years, I'm back in former home-sweet-home of 2 months i.e. Ward 2B of PPUKM once more.  The sight of mothers in labour, mothers with newborns, and the oh-so-familiar sounds of CTG machines everywhere are close enough to touch my heart and put my eyes to tears, although I'm still far from all these right now.

The surrounding compound 

A bit of here and there along the way
The second trimester had just begun and a few things had so-called "progressed" recently.

As contemplated, the plan itself is isn't complicated, but sometimes, involves a small degree of red tape.

PPUKM, or formerly called HUKM, is the nearest hospital with the necessary facilities and expertise from where I live when it comes to cases of high risk pregnancies, which include cervical insufficiency.

Obtaining a referral to the O&G clinic of PPUKM is straightforward, likewise obtaining an appointment.  However, when it comes to decision on further management, it depends on how soon the case gets elevated to a specialist.  For instance:

Flow of event
I have taken action very early this time.   At 5 weeks when things were still highly uncertain, I made an appointment with one of the Profs at UKMSC, whom I've met during my stay at Ward 2B in 2014. The waiting list is long, so the fastest appointment I could get is when I'm already 14 weeks.  There's been some changes in the list of doctors, e.g. Prof Jamil whom I used to see during Aaron’s time had retired while Dr Suraya who did my emergency cerclage back in 2014 is currently practising elsewhere.

At the same time, immediately upon confirmation that the baby is inside the uterus at 7 weeks, I went to my nearest ob-gyn Dr. Norshida for referral to the O&G clinic at PPUKM - public wing.  It was done, and I was given an appointment within a reasonable period.  Let's keep both options on and see which one works.

My first antenatal visit at the O&G clinic PPUKM was given on 26/4, which was close to 12 weeks. Routine tests such as BP and weight measurements, urine test for protein and glucose, and USG were done.  There was a 15-minutes session on breastfeeding by student-nurses that day.  Apart from HVS taken that day, but contrary to my expectation that some sort of decision may be available regarding what's next, I was told to return in 2 weeks' time for cervical TVS.

2 weeks later, I had my first check-up with Prof Azurah at UKMSC - the private wing as per my appointment.  Prof Azurah immediately remembered me when I told her about my previously dislodged Arabin, because apparently, at PPUKM, among the many success stories, I'm the tiny minority with an opposite outcome.

Prof Azurah expressed her surprise that I was not referred to her while at the public wing for check-up on 26/4.  Had my routine check-up, with an additional scan to measure the cervical length, which thank God was still within normal parameter for 14 weeks.

Arabin insertion at PPUKM: My history and now
Prof Azurah suggested that I should go for the Arabin pessary early this time, but I will have to be referred to the public ward.  Arabin and I, at first I felt great suspense, in view of how it failed in just 24 hours back in 2014, resulting in an emergency cerclage and prolonged bed rest in the ward until delivery!

(Note: The Arabin pessary is a device used for those with incompetent cervix for the prevention of preterm delivery - an alternative to cervical cerclage.  At PPUKM, depending on the case, it's the first in line treatment for cervical competence.  In Malaysia, the use of the Arabin is limited, mainly available at teaching hospitals)

I was asked to be admitted to the good old Ward 2B on Monday (today) for Arabin insertion by Dr. Rahana was Prof Azurah will be out of town the following week for examination.

Day 1 and precious Monday
Other than the familiarity which is the only comforting factor, it's pretty devastating to be informed in the late afternoon that the Arabin insertion will only be done on the next day.

The present scene

The reality: A mixed bag of good and bad
Other than praying that this time will be better than previously, trying to avoid as many physical activity as possible, and to stick to whatever diet or medication I'm supposed to take, there's nothing else that I can do to make sure that I deliver full-term for another time - for one last time.

Ahh..... many things are running across me right now.  I had an instinct that I should try for one last child for only one obvious reason, and I finally did.  But when I think again, I wonder why am I putting myself through so many challenges once more - have I forgotten about how the 2014 long medical leave crept into my work that I felt really blur when I finally returned to work?

Where I wish I am right now, besides home

The waiting time, the risk of yet another prolonged leave for bed rest if the Arabin fails once more, the risk of premature delivery is everything else fails, and the emotional toll for all these mess.............  Although people always tell that beneath all the hard work and pain, you'll finally see the blessing, keeping motivated isn't as easy as how I wish it is.

Three years down the line: Ward 2B of PPUKM in 2017
On a more positive side, it's pleasant to note that Ward 2B is still generally comfortable, and the 2 meals that I've had so far were better than back in 2014.  It's a different caterer now, the utensils used are different and feels more at home this time, the chicken rendang served during lunch was tastier compared to previously although the menu looked the same.

A layout that suddenly reminds me of Hospital Ampang when Alvin's still very tiny 

Tea at 3 pm

Conclusion
The ward is quiet today, and I hope it will remain throughout my stay.  I don't know whether the Arabin will work or not this time, I don't know when, where and how will Baby No. 3 come out, and right now, I am most concerned if I can safely carry the baby at least until early term.  How I wish I can be like those who are able to continue going to work even in the third trimester so that conscience remains intact.  Regardless of the outcome of this time, this shall be my last pregnancy, because this is my maximum threshold, after various rocky paths.

An Eye-Opening Dream and My Mom

“Dreams are dreams”, and hence I normally don’t take them seriously apart from being dreams.

However, the dream last night was somewhat thought-provoking as upon getting up, I wondered if the dream were to occur in real life will I react “the way I did in my dream”?

Scene 1: The Dream

It was a sunny afternoon in the serene neighbour of Ipoh called Batu Gajah where my mom used to work for many years.  My tiny family and I happened to be there and we were hungry, so we dropped by the restaurant located downstairs of the clothing stockist’s office where my mom used to go at least once a week to get her stocks for her customers. 

The stockist, let’s call her A, is a very friendly lady who’s like a friend to my mom – they used to travel to a few nearby states like Penang and KL together for business-related events (I have joined them to Penang once) and they used to chat a lot about their personal lives, children and so on. 

I’ve been to this restaurant more than 10 years ago, and it is operated by A’s brother, let’s call him K.  In short, it’s a family business upstairs and downstairs of the shophouse.

As K was away, A manned the cash counter.  As she was calculating the total, she glanced at me with an aura of déjà vu, her eyes as if telling “I have a strong feeling I used to see you frequently many years ago, but I’m unable to immediately recall who are you”.

Scene 2: The Flight Mode 

“Thirty-five ringgit in total”, I gave her RM50, but she’s short of RM5 for change.  Feeling uneasy and fearing she’ll soon remember me and ask me about my mom’s whereabouts as my mom suddenly disappeared from the scene in May 2011, I had an urge to move away quickly.  So, I said “it’s alright, that RM5 is my drink treat for you” and left.

Scene 3: What will I do if this really occurs?

From “my reaction” in the dream, I start to question what’s beneath my subconscious mind.  Given the same thing in reality, will I pretend to be someone else as what I did in the dream, or will I say “Hi aunty A, how are you? I am Sek Lai Kuin’s daughter… do you remember me” and then tell A that I’m so sorry for being unable to inform her earlier about my mom because I didn't have her contact number?

Scene 4: Possible theories behind the dream

It’s been almost 6 years down the line, yet some of my mom’s business acquaintances have not been informed about her demise.  I had access to her phone diary later on, but I haven’t got the determination to contact the list of all persons one-by-one.  

Arguably, I am not strongly-obliged to contact everyone whom she knew on a business basis (as opposed to her personal friends and long-time colleagues).  But a pinch of guilt continued to haunt me when her business acquaintances e.g. the clothing line stockist whom she used to get catalogues and stocks from, the skincare salesperson at Parkson whom my mom used to buy her products from, and her loyal customers of discounted formula milk continued to call her mobile during the days when I retained her SIM card and phone.  And I would end up either not picking up the calls, or at most merely informed her customers that she’s no longer selling clothes and formula milk, but without disclosing the actual reason for fear of receiving various reactions from them.  What???

Once, my mom’s former long-time colleague (Aunty S) called my number.  While I’m generally silent about personal happenings on social media, the power of social media is nevertheless tremendous as third party postings served as powerful medium of information. I knew this colleague of my mom in person since I was very young, likewise her daughter who is my long-time friend-cum-classmate, so I picked up the call and confirmed that indeed, the news is true.

Another former colleague of my mom (Kak Y) whom my mom used to work with prior to her retirement soon called – I know her too, so I picked up the call and strangely felt guilty when the call was filled with sobs.  Aww, I didn’t know what to do so I tried to comfort Kak Y although most would expect vice versa. 

Thus, I suspect that’s how the “fear” of explaining about my mom’s whereabouts came from.  Worse, the longer it is, the guiltier I will feel if I suddenly bump into her acquaintances or uninformed friends, if we've missed anyone earlier.   

Scene 5: Silver lining despite the odds

From the day of my mom’s departure until today, I have not dropped any tear for that although I do miss the person who had lent her womb for me to stay in for almost 9 months.

In any event, I fully accept that this is life’s cycle.  When things happen, there’s a reason for it although the answers may not come quickly.  Perhaps when I'm free one day, I'll write more about my mom for the sake of re-living and sharing some memories of her.

Looking from a more positive side, she’s seen her children grown up and gone into the work force although she didn’t get to see her grandchildren.  My mom need not worry about my dad as although my dad is not able to be 100% independent at this age (in his 70s now), he’s still in generally good health, thankfully, and surrounded by kind family members and folks when he needs help – fingers-crossed.

Scene 6: The prudent way to do it

Back to the dream and if it were to occur, applying prudence and logic, I shall not act the way I did like in the dream.  Be my usual self, greet them if I bump into anyone of them, and explain to them if they ask. 

The 3rd and Last: A 1st Trimester Overview

Instinct is illogical, but true - as what a few experiences in the past had taught me.  This time around, the so-called logic side of me still wonders if I have stepped into the right path or otherwise, although the decision between "yes" and "no" was made more than half a year ago.

More than halfway through the 1st trimester now, here's sharing the experiences so far.....

Appetite
I tend to eat more properly in the morning, but for lunch and dinner, I can only take half the amount of what I used to consume.  I have a dislike for rice right now, so other sources of carbs seem more palatable.

Night sickness and run down
Sicknesses in the form of nauseousness if I consumed the wrong food, or sometimes for no reason tend to occur between evening to night.  Got to trust my intuition when eating, and refrain from what causes discomfort or gives rise to a cold throat sensation e.g. rice, too much meat, soft fruits, carbonated drinks and slimy food like yogurt and half boiled eggs, and got to brush my teeth very quickly... it's a compromise on oral hygiene, but what to do?  And by 9 pm, I'll be completely run down.

Sensitivity and that weird metallic taste
Highly likely due to rapid hormonal changes, my digestion is much slower nowadays, and my stomach feels gassy quite easily either with the consumption of food that I can't tolerate right now, or if I am too hungry.

I feel a weird metallic taste in my mouth during certain times of the day.  The bitterness is worst after I eat anything sweet.  I also find that plain water tastes bitter, unless it's lukewarm and so, I only drink warm water nowadays.  Or if it's room temperature or colder, it has got to be lime or lemon juice - I'll try to make it very dilute to minimise harm to the teeth.

Scent oh scents....
Slightly different from the past experiences, this time, I have repugnance towards certain smells, e.g. flowery scents from perfumes, body washes and detergents (so I refrain from going into a bathroom immediate after anyone takes a bath), the smell of cooking especially garlic and spices, and most notably, the smells of various ointments such as minyak angin, Yu Yee oil, Tiger Balm, Vicks, and generally any menthol-smelling stuff.

I feel bad at work where there's this lady janitor who is very nice, but unfortunately I felt immediate discomfort when she comes near with the flowery-fragrant spray which she carries around.  It's like having to avoid a person whom I have nothing against.  In order to mitigate the obviousness, when she comes near, I'll walk somewhere else, e.g. to the washroom or pantry, or on the pretext of ensuring that I do not block her space in performing her duty.

Dislike for what I used to like
No fresh milk, no meat especially fish, meat-based soups, no spicy food, no butter, and no rice.  I only feel like eating steamed vegetables, vegetable soups, fried egg and tofu. My former savior mandarin peel also tastes weird to me this time. Gosh, apart from daily folic acid supplement, how to avoid becoming anemic?

Food crave for the first time
In the past, I did not have craves for any particular food.  But for this time, I crave chee cheong fun and would have it a few times in a week.  As the signature mushroom gravy that's popular in dear hometown Ipoh is not available here, the best alternative would be curry gravy - without additional chili paste because the stomach can't tolerate hot stuff at the moment. Prior to this, I am not a fan of chee cheong fun and used to take its abundance for granted when I used to live in Ipoh with my parents.

Got to feel it to understand it
My pregnancy with Alvin was emotionally alright, although I was missing my mother dearly for she had just departed 6 months before Alvin's conception.  But I suppose it's normal for anyone to feel that way regardless of physical state... and further, who isn't keen to share a happy news with a loved one?  With Aaron, my state of mind was alright despite having to stay in ward for a long time, I felt occasionally bored, but upon knowing my ward-mates better, I gradually felt more at home.

I used to wonder whether emotional roller-coaster during pregnancy is a truth or myth.  Although I've frequently heard of it and think that it may be true, I had no experience.  So when one hits me this time, I really have no words to describe it.

Teary spells and thin ice
A short video or advertisement featuring a cute baby, or even a cute puppy could turn on my tear mode.  On one fine morning when I saw two ambulances near Hospital Serdang while on my way to work, I was almost moved to tears as I was suddenly reminded of my mom.  But strangely, I did not shed any tear with my mom's sudden demise 6 years ago (it was unexpected as she appeared energetic and healthy right before that), and was able to take it positively despite missing her deeply.

I have no idea how long this will last, but the current phenomena makes me feel like walking on thin ice when I easily get snapped by common remarks by close folks around me for trivia things. Hopefully baby no. 3 will no absorb this vibe somehow or else baby will turn up as cry baby.

Conclusion
Not wanting any disappointment later on, I shall not over-expect things around me.  And never underestimate the influence of hormones upon the body and mind.

I'm glad that so far, I've been going around without spotting (or threatened abortion), unlike the past 2 experiences - fingers-crossed.  The pregnancy symptoms started very early this time - good appetite at week 4, but started to feel the opposite from week 5 onwards, and a mixture of feelings until now.

I am quite afraid to think of the risks of various stuff, but it's a fact that all pregnancies come with risks.  If everything works alright, I'll go for an elective cerclage later.

Let's take one thing at a time and see how it works.  If the baby can sit in safely until early term, then I shall be more than thankful.  Boy or girl, I shall not care much since it's already determined once conceived.  I don't know where I want to deliver this one, which will depend on convenience as well as fate.  God please let everything be smooth and safe this time, no long medical leaves like previously, and most importantly everyone at home is prepared to embrace a new person, if this new person safely arrives into the world.

"Have you (no)...when (now)... and where (don't know)". The Primary School Dilemma

Alvin will be five this year.  Months before the application for Primary 1 was opened, I've received a number of reminders from family members like "Have you seen if registration has started", "Are you going for xxx school" and "Don't take too long!".  I totally understand their concern, as nowadays, applications for primary school are to be done online during the year when the child turns 5, i.e. 2 years before the child starts Primary 1.

The page on the Ministry of Education's website for registration of Primary 1 pupils, 2018 and 2019 intakes. 

Information that need to be filled in
For first time users, it will be necessary to register for a username (your MyKAD number) and password.

When using the system for the first time, you will need to start by typing the MyKID number of the child who will be registered for Primary 1.  Almost all of his or her data will be instantly displayed, like birth certificate number and address.

A tip for parents/guardians who want to register their children: Apart from MyKID (for anyone who doesn't memorise his or her children's MyKID number) it's best to also have your children's Immunisation Book (or Buku Rekod Kesihatan Kanak-Kanak) with you when filling in the online form because there is a part that requests for the dates of all immunisations taken.  Also, please ensure that you have the MyKAD numbers of the main two caretakers, e.g. both parents or others, ready.

Five years down the line
I am not sure how other parents feel when their children are finally old enough to be enrolled for formal education - are they happy, excited and so on?

While I am grateful that Alvin has gone a long way from being a 1.16 kg preterm baby to a preschooler today, there are uncertainties as to how well he will be able to cope with large classroom + numerous subjects + banyak homework... all the things that SJKC pupils go through.

Why be concerned, and why SJKC?
If it's a child whose milestones and behaviours are just like the typical majority, I wouldn't be as concerned.  As discussed in an earlier post, I do not care so much about the type of school that a child enrols into, and am open to the idea of putting my children in a school that uses a different medium of instruction from mine in the past.

Why a particular SJKC?  Distance-wise, it's the nearest from home and hence not to worry about transportation. While I am open to the idea, I am not sure if it will be the best for Alvin.  Hmm... I don't have much say in this matter because among everyone at home with my family-in-law, I am the only one who is not Chinese-educated, and I am quite afraid to introduce an alien idea that may cause discomfort to others, unless it genuinely cannot be helped.

What are the challenges?  These are foreseen when it involves a child whose development in language is not the same as the majority, which is not just language delay and late-talking. Right now, I still do not know if Alvin will be able to catch up 3 languages in SJKC, a challenge not only to anyone with language problem, but also many other children.

The readiness factor: Is Alvin ready to write, write and write?  It's imminent when you study Chinese because practise is the only way to master writing Chinese words. Apart from that, Chinese schools also place great emphasis on practice/homework in other subjects esp. mathematics.

What about SK?  Family factor aside, one main concern is the fact that Alvin has no exposure in Malay language right now, and I do not know the best method to get him to intensively pick up Malay without stressing him up.  I don't want him to lose interest in school solely because of communication barrier in SK.

Today isn't like yesterday:  Although I survived SK not knowing how to speak Malay in the beginning, the phenomena may differ now.  For e.g. Primary 1 stuff today look like Primary 3 stuff to me, and I wonder whether children nowadays are indeed so advanced compared to us in the past?

BM question for Primary 6 that went viral on social media last year.  BM papers for UPSR in the 90s were nowhere near to this level, gone are the days when they only comprised "Soalan-soalan Objektif" for "Pamahaman" and a written paper for "Penulisan".  

Languages of survival: In Malaysia, knowing only the Chinese language is not sufficient to live independently. We need to master Malay (a lot, like in secondary school where all subjects are taught in Malay, and when having government-related transactions), and then English. The only hope now is to see if Alvin will progressively outgrow his current obstacle later on with the help of speech therapy now.

Keep an open mind:  In any event, if there's a need to change school later on, we can still do it despite having enrolled into a school now.  Let's get some expert's advice later and k.i.v. for a Plan B or C.

An eye-opening evening
Staying in a Chinese majority area, 99.99% of pupils from Alvin's kindergarten enrol in SJKC. Naturally, his kindergarten starts preparing its pupils for it.

Although the number of homework is very little - mostly writing alphabets and easy Chinese characters on dotted lines, and can be completed in 10 minutes with guidance (but smarter ones don't need any guidance), homework is still homework, and this is where parental role comes into play.

Five minutes on, Alvin got bored.  No problem, let's play some songs and continue when we're both happy. Unfortunately, halfway through, I was caught surprised by the knock on the door of the homework-cum-sleep room.   Oops, it's Alvin's grandmother, my mom-in-law... "He got no homework is it?".  "Yes, he had, we did for 10 minutes and I decided to stop because he's done enough".  Got 10 minutes eh?  :p  

Are folks at home shocked by this easygoing approach?  As I did not have homework from Primary 1 to 3, it didn't come naturally to me to check the Alvin's books everyday because I didn't expect any homework.  Wah...  if Alvin really goes to a Chinese national-type school, then I must change and be more interested in homework.

Folks may or may not agree with me on this - while I agree to some extend that it's good to groom children to be responsible with their academics from young so that it becomes a habit, I still am not keen to take it too heavily at his present age.

Conclusion
Alvin's application for primary school is almost done, except for a few boxes I couldn't fill in. Fingers-crossed, I don't know what to expect after this.

All I want is a school that's convenient in terms of transportation and location, one that is suitable for Alvin to learn, with teachers who are compassionate enough to understand his current shortcomings that we're working on to improve.  Alvin Boleh!!

Movie from Yesteryear: "Departures"

Watching films is one of the most popular hobbies among many folks.  At home, although the screen is on daily, due to various unavoidable reasons, I only get to sit down to watch anything perhaps once or twice in a year. So when I finally settle to watch one for just once in a blue moon, the choice of film would either be a movie of suspense, or one that's emotionally-touching..... never waste that precious opportunity... yeah!

Movie of the day: Departures (Okuribito - or the "person who sends off")
This is no longer a new movie, as it was first aired in 2008.  The story line of this multiple awards-winning movie is generally predictable, but the scenes are touching.  Subtle elements of humour are present throughout the movie, something which is not very common in Japanese films.

Please forgive me for not summarising the plot of the movie in my own words, but the following is a concise write-up, 99.9% from Wikipedia, that put everything neatly in a nutshell:

Daigo Kobayashi (Masahiro Motoki) loses his job as a cellist when his orchestra is disbanded. He and his wife Mika (Ryōko Hirosue) move from Tokyo to his hometown in Yamagata, where they live in his childhood home that was left to him when his mother died two years earlier. It is fronted by a coffee shop that Daigo's father had operated before he ran off with a waitress when Daigo was six; since then the two have had no contact. Daigo feels hatred towards his father and guilt for not taking better care of his mother. He still keeps a "letter-stone"—a stone which is said to convey meaning through its texture—which his father had given him many years before.

Daigo finds an advertisement for a job "assisting departures". Assuming it to be a job in a travel agency, he goes to the interview at the NK Agent office and learns from the secretary, Yuriko Kamimura (Kimiko Yo), that he will be preparing bodies for cremation in a ceremony known as encoffinment (so NK is short form for nou kan or encoffinment). Though reluctant, Daigo is hired on the spot and receives a cash advance from his new boss, Sasaki (Tsutomu Yamazaki). Daigo is furtive about his duties and hides the true nature of the job from Mika.

   

His first assignment is to assist with the encoffinment of a woman who died at home and remained undiscovered for two weeks. He is beset with nausea and later humiliated when strangers on a bus detect an unsavoury scent on him. To clean himself, he visits a public bath which he had frequented as a child. It is owned by Tsuyako Yamashita (Kazuko Yoshiyuki), the mother of one of Daigo's former classmates.

Over time, Daigo becomes comfortable with his profession as he completes a number of assignments and experiences the gratitude of the families of the deceased. Though he faces social ostracism, Daigo refuses to quit, even after Mika discovers a training DVD in which he plays a corpse and leaves him to return to her parents' home in Tokyo. Daigo's former classmate Yamashita (Tetta Sugimoto) insists that the mortician find a more respectable line of work and, until then, avoids him and his family.

After a few months, Mika returns and announces that she is pregnant. She expresses hope that Daigo will find a job of which their child can be proud. During the ensuing argument, Daigo receives a call for an encoffinment for Mrs Yamashita. Daigo prepares her body in front of both the Yamashita family and Mika, who had known the public bath owner (picture below). The ritual earns him the respect of all present, and Mika stops insisting that Daigo change jobs.

Sometime later, they learn of the death of Daigo's father. 

A reluctant Daigo goes with Mika to another village to see the body. Daigo is at first unable to recognize him, but takes offence when local funeral workers are careless with the body. He insists on dressing it himself, and while doing so finds a stone-letter which he had given to his father, held tight in the dead man's hands.  The childhood memory of his father's face returns to him, and after he finishes the ceremony, Daigo gently presses the stone-letter to Mika's pregnant belly.

Conclusion

Apart from various scenes of Daigo at work handling various clients, all which looked alright without any gross element in order to ensure that the scenes appear pleasant for viewers of all categories, the story line also includes a number of situations that occur in reality.  

Daigo's clients comprised a variety of emotional characters and background, ranging from sadness, families who quarreled and blamed each other for the deceased's departure to the very last face-to-face moments with the deceased, families who cheerfully sent off their departed loved ones despite the heavy-hearted farewell, and family members who finally accepted a deceased as who he really was after years of denial.

Another realistic scene portrayed in the movie was how some mothers like to compare their own children with another.  For instance, the scene where the public bath house owner Mrs Yamashita praised Daigo for having a good job as a musician in Tokyo and expressed how she wished her son, who happens to be Daigo's ex-classmate and works as a public servant at the small town was as talented as Daigo - right in front of her son.

Relating the movie to the reality, in summary, the overall East Asian culture (e.g. Japanese and Chinese) still frown upon certain jobs related to handling departure from the world.  However, despite the taboo, professions related to managing departure (for instance the Chinese) are generating good income nowadays, very business-like and competitive.