A decade ago, it never came across my mind that I’d one day go through this path. How often do we realize that we frequently take things such as appetite and energy for granted?
Illogical, but true
Instincts are seldom logical, but they are real. About a month ago, I had a strange feeling that I wasn’t alone in my body i.e. there are 2 persons in me. I even enjoyed an unusually superb appetite for the first 1 week, as if in need to accumulate nutrient. But I dismissed instinct, and told myself "nah, don't dream yet".
Curiosity Begins
Out of curiosity but without eyeing for anything positive, I bought a home pregnancy test. I took the test when I went for my shower on one fine evening. I was shocked and amazed that the kit immediately showed a positive result. I didn’t know whether I was happy or otherwise.
The First to Know
As my husband was next door with his parents after my shower, my dad thus became the first person whom I shared the news with. Being cool as a cucumber, but with hidden excitement deep inside, my dad remarked “why not”.
In the midst of joy mixed with disbelief, I suddenly felt uneasy when I noticed that I was soon suffering from spotting. I thought, “So sensitive, does that mean the end of a short-lived joy? ”
Off to the clinic
The next morning, I visited a local panel GP not too far from my workplace. A test at the clinic confirmed the positive result. I shared my concerned with the doctor about the seemingly on-off spotting that’s been bothering me since the night before.
The ultrasound scan showed the existence of a sac in my uterus. The sac looked pretty normal, although image of the embryo could not be seen yet due to its super-tender age. And thus the doctor ruled out ectopic and molar pregnancy. At this early stage, it’s still premature to tell the fate of the embryo inside.
I was given a few tablets of Duphaston. It may or may not help, but I tried it nevertheless. I was told to return for another check-up in 3 weeks’ time.
When being negative is “good”
Deep inside, although I wanted it to work, I’ve already formed a negative mind. After all, I’ve just gone through a tough period in life just 7 months earlier (for months, I had to do almost everything single-handedly when my mom's suddenly no longer around), and it shouldn’t surprise me if another occurs (touchwood). I am that negative, and being negative isn’t necessarily bad because arguably, it prepares people for the worst.
Since I’ve done all I could to help myself, I now let nature take care of things, it’s up to God to decide whether to let me have the baby or otherwise.
A secret broken
The first trimester is always the most critical stage when it comes to whether one is able to sustain a pregnancy or otherwise. Anything is possible during this stage, and unfortunately, nothing much can be done to save the situation should anything goes “down”. At that moment, I merely kept my fingers crossed.
Being a person who enjoys maintaining a degree of mystery, I wish I could keep the pregnancy a secret from my buddies and boss, at least during the early stages. But I had no choice in doing so because I need to let my boss know why I was given medical leave for 2 days. Do no wrong and thus hide nothing.
Now I finally know what many mothers go through
My fear went on for close a little more than a week, when morning sickness finally took over. Morning sickness isn’t pleasant at all, but at least it shows that things are probably working out and developing.
During the first week of morning sickness, I had no appetite for almost all meals. Contrary to the term itself, I felt sick mostly during the night. I ate little, and was tired most of the time. I could doze off within minutes when sitting down. While realizing this is perfectly normal, I knew that I needed to do something and not let myself go down the drain for probably another 2 months.
From the beginning until the 8th week, here’s sharing some experience:
1.Vitamin B:
As a desperate measure in attempt to at least alleviate my sickness, I tried supplementing with Blackmore’s Executive B Complex. The supplement comprises a mixture of B vitamins (including folic acid or B9), vitamin C, and selected minerals.
Thankfully, the vitamin B complex supplement seems to help within a few days of once-daily consumption. At least I’m able to eat like a normal person, although I’m unable to eat my usual portion of meals at one go and thus need to eat smaller but more frequent portion of meals throughout the day. At least I’m able to do a few light household chores now.
2. Food Crave and Aversions:
On one hand, I love sambal very much… more than ever and have gone to the extent of buying small packets of nasi lemak just to get sambal onto my tongue. I love extra sambal and it stimulates my appetite to a degree. But of course I have to control myself to eat it in moderation, firstly because nasi lemak is high in cholesterol and secondly, anything with coconut milk and spicy are not exactly very easy to digest.
But unfortunately, I’m unable to tolerate some of my favourite food, which also happened to be what’s crucial for my developing embryo – milk and fish. In the past, I’ve enjoyed very high tolerance for milk. But seriously not now, recalling the awful day when I puked out my favourite yogurt.
And I developed a strange dislike for all types of fish now, although I was once a kid who’s very fond of the fishiness.
What a waste, because milk is a good source of calcium while fish is a good source of protein and DHA. Ouch… no more fresh milk, yogurt, cheese and fishes for me during this period of aversion.
3. Neither be too full nor hungry:
I realized the importance of keeping a balance between the two. Too full, and I’ll end up in great discomfort. Too hungry, I’ll end up feeling weak.
4. Crackers seem God-sent:
I’m truly thankful to the person(s) who had created cream crackers. Crackers are great sources of instant energy and in a very lay term, helps “absorb extra acids from my stomach like a sponge”. It’s wonderful in the sense that it’s tasty although dry, and does not cause upset to the stomach.
Arguably, I should diversify my snacks to other food with nutrients other than carbohydrate, like raisins, almonds or carrot sticks, but I notice these are not as effective as crackers.
5. Skin and hair:
I’ve been going without moisturizer and lotion for at least a month now, because having them seems to cause excessive oil on my skin. I’m glad to have the natural moist, and wish I haven’t bought my new bottle of moisturizer. But when I don’t get to wash my face in the noon, my face seems more prone to zits.
Hair-wise, I also notice an increasing level of moisture on my scalp. And thus I can’t go without washing my hair even for a day.
6. Lethargy:
Well, it seems forever there… unless I just happen to have eaten an enjoyable meal or taken a good sleep.
Gone are the days when I used to be able to take the fleet of stairs up and down the platform at the train station. Gone are the days when I used to walk briskly.
7. Oral Hygiene:
…. is of utmost importance during pregnancy. But it’s easier said than done. I used to be very meticulous with brushing and flossing, but seriously not now. I can't, I’d get that “gagged” feeling whenever I open my mouth for too long.
Using a maternity tooth paste (Pureen) seems to help a little, simply because the toothpaste contains little foam and tastes mild. But I still dread brushing my teeth and I wonder if things will improve later.
8. The saviour, food-wise
I find that Nestle Nutren Optimum works wonders in times when appetite is compromised. A cup of it provides instant energy and nutrient. Why Nutren Optimum? It's not too heavy, easily tolerated, nutritionally-balanced, and has a pleasant taste.
It's actually more suitable for the elderly, people recovering from sickness, those who are malnourished, or those at risk of malnutrition. There's a concern that the latter may come into picture , considering that I'm not eating my full meals nowadays.
Conclusion
I’m supposed to go for my second checkup with the doctor soon. Fingers still crossed because I'm so negative, I’m still a little afraid about this upcoming checkup.
In the meantime, I still have a few matters that have not been considered at the moment, which I think I will only look into upon seeing how things are progressing through the upcoming checkup.
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